


Angelfire

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, DCBB 2013, Dean/Cas Big Bang Challenge 2013, Historical Fantasy, M/M, Minor Character Death, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-24
Updated: 2013-10-24
Packaged: 2017-12-30 09:01:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 39,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1016701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean hates staying inside the castle. It’s a cage, a constant reminder that he’s going to be king one day, whether he wants it or not. When his brother Sam brings an injured angel who needs help to end a war from a hunting trip in the dangerous forest, Dean takes his chance to get out. He follows Castiel into the woods, deeper than a human ever was, unaware that there’s more than just monsters in there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [2013 DeanCas Big Bang](deancasbigbang.livejournal.com) on livejournal. View the great art [here](http://gishwhere.livejournal.com/1015.html).  
> There is a playlist for this [here](http://8tracks.com/castielsecretlyluvspie/angelfire)
> 
> Thanks for reading!

_“Damn it Cassie, why do you have make everything so complicated?” Gabriel whines when his little brother starts painting sigils on the wall of the cave. “It’s not as if a few lines and dots are going to deter the power from increasing.”_

_“Yes they will.” Castiel answers. “Stop complaining, you’re going to be glad that I did them once we’re inside.”_

_“Cassie nothing’s happened yet, come on.” Gabriel groans. “You overestimate the power of the angelfire, believe me.” He pulls out one of his sugar cubes and throws it in the air, catching it with his mouth. “Every time we enter one of these caves we barely find any angelfire. I think it only exists in small quantities. Nothing to worry about.”_

_Castiel stops painting and turns around to face his brother. “Seriously Gabriel? Do you know how many caves have we been in? It’s been three and I doubt that every single cave is like them. I’m sure that there are springs which are much larger and I want to be safe when I go into these tunnels.” He looks at his hands, his thumb sweeping over the ring he is wearing. “I don’t want to die in here.”_

_Gabriel sighs. “Yeah, maybe you’re right, I’m sorry. Are you done here, I want to go inside.”_

_Castiel nods and they start walking into the darkness of the cave. They’ve left their companions at the entrance of the cave, with the order not to follow them. This hollow is bigger than the others they’ve been in and Castiel is unsettled because this time it feels different. It’s dark in the tunnel and although he is able to see in the dark, Castiel can barely see their surroundings. Slowly the air around them grows hotter and Castiel knows that they are close to the spring of angelfire, the energy of it is wavering around them. Eventually the tunnel bends and opens to a large room. Castiel looks up to see how high the ceiling is but he can’t see it._

_“Oh shit,” Gabriel whispers next to him. The room is lit with orange light from a sinkhole only a few meters in front of them. Castiel takes a few steps towards the edge, looking down. Only twenty feet below him is a lake of angelfire and in the center he can recognize the spring, constantly producing more._

_“I thought your sigils would help against this.” Gabriel says and points towards the spring. “This is not what I hoping for when you said it would stop the whole process.”_

_“They’re not powerful enough to control this much energy,” Castiel answers. “We should go before the crater is filled.”_

_“I’ll second that,” Gabriel says, turning around. In the same moment they hear a loud rumble and the earth starts to quake. “Not good, definitely not good,” Gabriel mumbles and looks up just in time to see the boulders falling._

_“Run!” he shouts to Castiel who is still studying the angelfire. He is on a jut at the edge, sitting on his heels. “Look at that, Gabriel.” He says, tilting his head._

_“Damn it Castiel we don’t have time for that!” Gabriel shouts again. “We’re going to die if we don’t run as fast as we can!” Finally Castiel turns around to Gabriel and stands up but at the same time one of the rocks hits the ground in front of the dark haired angel.  There is a loud crack and before any of them realizes the rock beneath his feet falls away. Out of instinct Castiel moves his wings and tries to fly up again but he isn’t fast enough and Gabriel has to witness how his little brother falls down towards the orange glowing light._

**8 months earlier**

It is hunting season again. And Prince Dean, son of King John isn’t able to hunt.  It had started with a simple cold and had ended with the flu, so he had to stay in bed for a week. Of course he hadn’t stopped complaining about how unfair it was, but in the end he gave in and remained at home, waiting for his brother to come back.  

Dean hates staying inside the castle. It’s a cage, a constant reminder that he’s going to be king one day, whether he wants it or not. And he definitely _doesn’t_ want it. Every time his father had asked him to rule the kingdom for the time, while he wasn’t there, it had felt wrong. Dean is no king but a hunter, maybe a soldier, someone to protect the kingdom, not rule it. Sam is the one who knows everything about the politic issues and although he likes hunting he prefers to stay at home. This is the first time Dean and Sam have been separated for an age and it is a completely new experience for him. Since their mother died in a fire when they were young, Sam and Dean had been pretty close. Every time Sam fought with their father it was Dean who cheered him up and every time Dean was about to give everything up and run away because he didn’t want to be the king it was Sam who told him to stay strong and that they would figure something out.  

And it isn’t only that Dean misses his brother, but the worry that is eating him up.  Outside the castle are monsters, like werewolves, vampires, or worst, angels and Dean can’t protect his little brother just because of this freaking flu. He knows the forest better than everyone, knows where the border to the dangerous part of the forest is. He hopes that the hunters won’t cross it. Even with ten of them it’s too risky.

This morning Dean is standing on the wall, watching through the battlements and waiting for the hunters. It has been two weeks now since they left and Dean can’t wait to see his brother. The prince lets his gaze wander over the large expanse of scenery spread out in front of him. From this place he can almost see half of the Winchester’s Kingdom. Below the castle hill are the villages and towns, beautiful in the morning sun.  Between them the fields are spreading and beyond, nearly at the horizon is the forest, majestic and dark, full of secrets and monsters… and his brother. While Dean is standing and watching, a movement catches his eye. At first he can only see a few small dots, but after a while he recognizes his father’s banner.  The hunters are coming back.

As they enter the main gate he sees his Sammy, who is riding in front and his uncle Bobby, who is riding apart from the others and looking concerned.

“What happened?” Dean asks Bobby, when he finally gets a hold of him.

“Well, your brother has way too much heart and has brought an injured monster with us,” mutters Bobby. “I told him it wasn’t a good idea but he wouldn’t listen, as always.”

“A monster? I don’t think father will be very enthusiastic about that.”

 It wasn’t unusual, Sam would bring home an injured creature and John would be furious. He’d shout at his younger son that it must stop, that there was no good reason to help the monsters, that they killed the innocent.

Dean turns to his brother, who had managed to get off his horse. “I heard you picked up a monster again. What is it this time? A werewolf, like two years ago? A rare bird?  Or even a dragon that will spit fire and we’ll have to rebuild the whole infirmary like a few years ago? You know it never ends well. As soon as they have recovered, they start being monstery again and trying to kill as many nurses as they can.”

Sam, beginning to feel uncomfortable with his brother reminding him of all the things which happened when he brought a hurt monster home, blurts out:

 “First of all, I don’t think the word “monstery” exists. And second, it’s an angel.”

Dean groans internally. How could Sam be so dumb as to bring an angel with him? There were lots of stories and rumors about angels. The male angels have supernatural powers, and they all have wings, of course, and these wings can be different colors, from black to gold. They are also immortal, unless you stab them with a special sort of metal.

A thousand years ago, humans and angels used to be very close; they had a kind of peace treaty and there were angels who had been advisors to kings. Dean had even heard of children who were half angel and half human. But that had been long time ago. After the last war, things had changed. Nowadays the angels lived in the woods, apart from humans; there are hundreds of creepy stories of angels stealing children out of their beds and taking them into the forest to eat them. Dean doesn’t know anyone who has even seen an angel. Well, until now, because apparently his brother’s gotten up close and personal with one.

“An angel? Seriously Sammy? A werewolf or vampire’s bad enough, but an angel’s a whole different story! They could blow up the whole castle with a thought!”

“Yeah, seriously Dean! And do you want to know why? Because the angel asked me for help. “

Dean wants to say something but is cut off by Bobby.

“Stop trying, it’s senseless. You have no idea how hard I’ve tried, but you know how stubborn he can be.”

Dean sighs. “I know, but I had to try.”

Sam answers with a sigh of his own. “Dean. I don’t think the angel is going to hurt anybody. There’s no reason for him to. It’s not like the other times with the other creatures, that one of the men had hunted down or something like that. We just found him, as he lay beside the path and Gordon saw him there. At first we thought he was dead but then we noticed he was breathing. His wings look pretty damaged and I think he has lost a lot of blood. Honestly, I’m not sure if he’s going to survive, but when he saw me, he asked me for help and said that he had to talk with the king, so I got him a horse and picked him up.”

“Wait, he wants to talk with dad? Why would an angel want to talk with a human king?” Dean asked, surprised.

 “I don’t know,” Sam answers _._ “Maybe it’s because-”

Suddenly the rest of the hunters arrive. There are four of them and they are leading another horse between them. On this horse sits a pale man with ruffled dark brown hair. His eyes are closed and he is bruised and covered in blood. Behind him his wings are spreading out. They are black and huge, each about ten feet wide.  The left wing isn’t spread out to its full extent and Dean can see that it’s probably broken.  Sharply he sucks in a breath. He’s used to the creatures being hurt but usually they are still able to walk and don’t need a horse.

“Whoa, he looks pretty smashed up!” he says.  “Not even the vampire looked that bad.”

Suddenly, the angel turns his head around and looks Dean straight in the eyes. The angel’s eyes are lightning blue and it seems like he can see into his soul. Dean feels uncomfortable and has the sudden urge to look away but for some reason he doesn’t. They stare into each other’s eyes for a few seconds until the angel turns his head back. Dean shakes his own to chase away the weird feeling he has before he commands:

 “Help him down from the horse and take him to the infirmary!”

Dean watches when the angel slowly gets off the horse and tries to take a few steps. He stumbles, but when someone reaches out to help him he pushes the hands away. His wings shift as he tries to get his balance and he grimaces when it comes to his hurt left wing. The angel starts walking with little, unsteady steps, surrounded by three hunters, who lead him to the building across the yard. They’re halfway across the yard when the angel suddenly collapses. Dean runs over, not noticing that he is moving until he is kneeling next to the angel trying to feel his pulse. It is there, even if it is weak. Although it’s always Sam who finds the injured creatures, it’s Dean who takes care of them. Of course he never thinks it’s a good idea to help a monster, because they are still dangerous even when hurt and he knows what they are capable of once they are healed, but this doesn’t keep Sam from bringing them home and healing people is something Dean likes and is actually good at it. It gives him the feeling of being useful – even if it’s a monster he is looking after.

“I think we’ll have to carry him the rest of the way,” he says to the other men.

Somehow they manage to get the angel into the infirmary and push two beds together, to lay him down. Even two beds are too small for his wings, so the tips of them are left in the mid-air. Dean can’t help but smiling about that as he wonders how the angel would lay in a bed if he was sleeping. Maybe he would be curled up in his wings like a bat- _if_ he was sleeping.

One of the nurses, Jess, comes in. Dean knows that Sam has a big crush on her. He doesn’t admit it but it’s obvious. There’s no other reason for Sam to spend half of his free time at the infirmary, talking to Jess and asking if she needs any help. And Dean knows that she likes Sam too, because she’s never told Sam to go back to work or that he is in the way, even when he definitely is. And of course there are all the glances between them when they think the other isn’t looking. Dean would love for them to get together but he knows that they are both too shy to admit their feelings.

Dean watches while Jess undresses the upper half of the angel, carefully. His body is covered in cuts and bruises, and Dean can’t help but breathe in sharply.  

“Son of a bitch, what happened to this guy to make him look like that?” he says, not expecting an answer.

“Considering that these cuts look like they were made by swords you should probably ask the hunters,” Jess answers.

“I already talked to Sam, who said he was like that when they found him.”

Jess is already studying her new patient again.

“Dean, to be honest, I’m not sure if I can heal him. I can take care of the wounds he has on his body, but I can’t help him with the wings. I don’t know how to handle them and I think his wings are the most injured part of his body. I’m afraid if his wings don’t heal, he will die due to loss of blood.” Jess says, resigned.  

“You mean you just don’t know what to do with his wings?” Jess nods. “Jess, I’ve hunted for years and I’ve been involved in falconry since I was 13 years old. I know how to care for birds, I know how to handle broken wings. Maybe I can help here.”

 Jess glances at him for a few seconds, then her face lights up.

“I forgot how talented you princes are. So, let’s help him to get back on his feet,” she says, clapping her hands.

While Jess takes care of the wounds on the angel’s chest and abdomen, Dean looks closer at his wings. The feathers are ruffled and dirty, crusted with mud and blood. On the right wing are several cuts, a few have gone straight through the feathers into the flesh. The left one looks like the right one but with one difference: It is broken and Dean decides to look after the cuts first, before he tries to splint the wing.

“Jess, when you are finished, would you mind bringing me warm water and cloths?” he asks the nurse.

She nods. “Sure, wait a moment.”

When Jess comes back, Dean has his sleeves rolled up and is sitting on a stool beside the bed.

“Thanks,” Dean says. He dips the cloth in the water and brushes it over the wing. Carefully he cleans the mud and blood off, struggling a little because it’s stuck to the feathers. The angel stirs slightly but doesn’t wake up. After cleaning the wing, Dean takes a needle to sew up the cuts. When he is done with the right wing, he starts on the left one. He is even more careful than he’d been with the other wing but the angel keeps stirring and suddenly groans in pain. Dean stops and watches as the angel relaxes again, he waits until he’s not moving around so much and his breath is steadier. Dean continues to stitch up the wounds, trying not to jostle the wing more than necessary.

When he had told Jess before that he knew how to handle injured wings it wasn’t the whole truth. Not at all. The falcon had been hurt just one time and he had died despite Dean’s efforts to help him. He also doesn’t know how to splint such a huge wing, and the angel doesn’t seem to use his wings like a bird would;  they aren’t wrapped around his body so he can’t fix them there either. Therefore he decides to stretch the wing out and splint it, like it was a human extremity. Dean’s hand goes through his already messy short hair and huffs out his breath. This is going to be more difficult than just cleaning and stitching wounds.

Carefully he grips the wing and starts to stretch it out slowly. Immediately the angel’s breathing gets more erratic and Dean prays that he won’t wake up because he is afraid that the angel will snap his wing back and hurt himself more than he already has. The prince stops for a moment and continues stretching the wings. A few minutes later, both wings are spread out to their full length. Dean lets his gaze wander over the angel lying on the bed with a bare chest and outspread wings. He wears an amulet around his neck which Dean hadn’t noticed before. The angel already looks better than he had a few hours ago but with all the bandages and stitches all over his body, his injuries are still obvious. Dean wonders again what had happened to the man in front of him. Maybe the angel will tell him when he is awake, though Dean doubts he’ll tell him anything. There is no reason for him to. He wanted to talk with the king, not with the king’s son.

The prince sighs and a few ruffled feathers catch his eye. Without thinking he reaches out to straighten them when suddenly someone grips his wrist tight. Dean turns around, looking into the, now awake, angel’s face. His eyes are luminous blue and definitely not human.

“Don’t you dare touch them!” the angel growls. His voice is deeper than Dean had expected.

“I-I’m sorry,” Dean stutters, surprised by the sudden movement of the angel. This is the first time that one of the creatures has woken up while he’s been taking care of them. Normally they fall asleep as soon they are in the infirmary and don’t wake up for a few days.

“Wings are something you don’t touch, do you understand me? Just because you don’t have any, doesn’t mean you can touch mine.” Dean feels the anger boiling in his gut.

 “You know what? You can be pissed, okay. I don’t know what happened to you, maybe I would be pissed too, if I was in your place. But if I hadn’t touched your precious wings, you would be dead by now. You don’t have to thank me or anything like that; I would just like to splint your wing because it’s obviously broken. So may I please touch your wing?”

Dean hears a crack and the angel’s wings tremble slightly.

“Obviously, neither of my wings are broken. And-” suddenly, the angel goes white in the face, his head sinking into the pillows.

“Whoa, easy there, you shouldn’t use all your mojo to heal yourself,” Dean says, maybe a bit concerned. A part of him can understand that the angel is defensive. He is in a room with no others of his kind and a human who is touching his wings. Dean doesn’t know enough about angels but maybe it is some kind of taboo. He closes his eyes for a moment, trying to calm down. 

The angel is breathing heavily, sweat covering his face.

Dean continues. “Look, here in the infirmary, you’ll be treated well. They’ll give you food and medicine and whatever you need. As soon as my father comes back from a visit to the next kingdom and you are healthy enough, you can talk to him. Just try to slow it down; nobody is going to hurt you here.”

The angel just stares at Dean, without even blinking. Dean starts to feel uncomfortable and clears his throat.

“Do you need something to eat? I don’t know if you eat in general, but if you do, well, we have everything here.”

The angel keeps quiet, still staring at the man in front of him. Dean thinks that the angel is maybe meditating or sleeping with his eyes open , which creeps him out a little bit. When the angel doesn’t answer after several minutes Dean leaves, guessing that the angel doesn’t want to talk with him.

The next few days turn out to be the same: Dean keeps asking the angel if he needs something, but he never gets an answer. On the third day he brings him pie, telling him that it is the best thing on earth to eat. The angel never stops staring at him with a little smile which starts to annoy Dean; it makes him feel like an idiot. Nevertheless, Dean continues visiting the angel every day. He doesn’t even know why and when Sam asks him why he spends all his time with the angel, he just shrugs.

“I don’t know man, he just needs someone to look after him. All the nurses refuse to help because he’s scary and a monster and all that stuff, and they remember that we don’t have the best experiences with monsters.”

“Shut up! You don’t have to act like you hate it when we have monsters here and you get to look after them. Especially when they look human, apart from the wings. And I know that he is exactly your type Dean. I’m curious, do you two talk to each other?” “Um, no Sammy, he is definitely not my type!” Dean tries not to blush. “And to be honest, no, he doesn’t talk to me. Just does his creepy staring thing. But I can deal with that and anyway I don’t think of him as a monster, I’m sure he has emotions and all that stuff, but he’s still creepy.”

“Dean, are you blushing?” Sam starts to grin.

“Well, I think one day he’s going to talk to you. I don’t know very much about angels, but maybe that’s how they act? Just staring at each other and having mental conversations?” “Sam, you are thinking too much. Just shut up and  go and get on with whatever you were doing.” Dean moans, embarrassed.

The next day, Dean is at the angel’s bedside again. The prince sits there for an hour, talking about random things, not caring that the angel probably isn’t listening, when suddenly the angel says something.

“I would appreciate one of those pies now.”

Dean jumps, unable to believe what he just heard. He never thought the angel would ever talk to him, especially not about pie.

“Sure, you can have some; I’ll go and ask someone for it. Do you prefer apple or cherry pie?” “Apple would be acceptable” the angel answers, tilting his head.

Dean nods and heads through the door still surprised that the angel had finally said something and trying to ignore that he just thought that the head tilting thing was cute. When he returns from the kitchen, a plate with apple pie in his hand, the angel has sat himself up and is staring out of the window. Dean hands the plate to him, watching as the angel starts to eat the pie.

“Would you mind not watching me while I’m eating?” the angel asks.

Dean hadn’t realized he was staring, so he blushes and quickly looks down. He mutters an apology and looks up again, seeing that the angel is finished eating and is now staring at Dean.

“Would _you_ mind not watching _me_ all the time?” Dean says to him, annoyed by the constant staring.

“I’m just trying to figure out why you have been sitting at my bedside all the time. Human behaviors are very complex and I’m trying to understand them,” the angel answers.

Dean shrugs. “Maybe it’s because I’m such a wonderful host?” he replies, half snarky and half sincere. The angel nods approvingly.

“Now it’s comprehensible.”

Dean doesn’t say anything because it’s all a bit embarrassing for him. Obviously the angel knows that he has spent all his time there, but he’s never talked to him. He realizes how stupid he’s  been acting in the last few days. Hell, he doesn’t even know the angel’s name and has spent more time at his side than talking to Sam. Okay, talking to Sam wasn’t that much fun at the moment because he had kept mocking Dean about his little crush on the angel – but no, it’s not a _crush_ , Dean would never be so stupid as to like a monster. It is a monster. Even if it looks like a human with wings and glowing eyes.

As if the angel has read his thoughts he says:

“My name is Castiel, maybe you would like to know that.”

“Castiel, huh? That’s really a name for an angel.” Dean grins. “I’m Dean by the way. So Cas, one question…what have you been doing the last few days? Because this whole staring thing made me really uncomfortable.”

Castiel frowns when he hears his new nickname but doesn’t say something.

“My body was regenerating itself. This happens when I’m too exhausted to heal. Normally  I leave my physical body and travel to places outside your perception,” he explains.

“Wait, so you’re telling me that you weren’t here, that it was only your body?”

“Yes exactly. But I could still hear everything that was spoken around my body. I knew that you have spent a lot of time here,” Castiel said. He was so casual, like he was talking about the weather and not about being able to travel without his body.

Dean has to admit that whatever the angel was doing, it was kind of cool. He feels less like an idiot than he did before, too, because it means that the angel’s staring and silence weren’t on purpose.

“That sounds really awesome,” Dean tells him, just as Jess comes to tell him that Bobby wants to talk to him. “I’m sorry Cas but I’m afraid that I have to go, my father’s advisor needs me. I’ll come back later.”

“I’m sorry to interrupt you two, but this is quite important. Do you need something else?” Jess asks Castiel after Dean’s left.

“No, thank you,” the angel answers, stretching his arms out. “But it’s really important for me to talk to the king as soon as possible.”

“Um, unfortunately we have a problem with that. We received a message half an hour ago that the king is going to stay longer than expected. He will not return before summer solstice.” Jess says, “I’m really sorry.”

“If that’s the case, I have to talk to the person who represents him at the moment.” Castiel demands, his wings shifting. “Is it possible to talk to him now?” he asks the nurse in front of him.

“If it is really a matter of urgency, yes I think so.” She answers. “Do you think you are able to stand up and walk?”

The angel doesn’t answer but swings his legs out of the bed and gets up.

“Could you please lead me to the king’s representative?” Jess nods. “Follow me.”

 

Dean stands together with Bobby in the hallway in front of the throne room, not believing what he just heard.

“He’s going to stay there for three months? What’s so important that he’d leave his own kingdom for that long?” he asks his uncle.

“I don’t know Dean, but I’m sure it is important. I wish it wasn’t true, too, but he isn’t here and he wants you to represent him.”

“Bobby please, can’t you do this? You do it all the time, you are the representative, not me.” He asks with desperation in his voice.

“I’m sorry but I’m afraid I can’t. It is about time that you learned how to act like a king because you’re going to be a king one day.” “Damn it, I never asked to be a king or reign over a country. I can’t do this, Sam is much better at that. Why isn’t he the representative?” whines Dean.

“Because you are the elder son. It’s just for three months; I know you can do this, Dean”, Bobby says, encouraging the young man in front of him.

Dean closes his eyes and sighs. “Okay I will do it, but I can’t promise I’m going to be a good king. I’m probably going to be the shittiest king this kingdom has ever seen.”

They hear footsteps and turn around, seeing Jess and a few steps behind her, the angel.

“Cas, what are you doing here?” Dean sounds surprised.

“You gave him a nickname?” Bobby asks him.

Before Dean can say something, the angel turns to Bobby.

“I assume you are the man who makes the decisions while the king is away, so I have to talk to you in private,” he tells him.

Bobby shakes his head and says, “I’m sorry but Dean is the one who represents the king while he isn’t here. You’ll have to talk to him.”

“I apologize,” the angel says to Dean. “I didn’t expect you to be the ruler of the kingdom, you are so young.”

“Well, I didn’t choose to, and I just found out,” Dean answers, while Jess and Bobby go back to their work.  “What’s so important that you got up from your bed?”

“It’s the reason I am here. We angels have four different territories, which are ruled by four angels named Michael, Gabriel, Raphael and Lucifer. Normally we live in peace, but two years ago Lucifer started to attack Michael’s kingdom because he wanted more land; Raphael joined Lucifer’s forces; and my brother Gabriel joined Michael. Thousands of my kind are dead. I know angels and humans don’t help each other anymore, but I have no idea how else to deal with this. I was captured and tortured by Lucifer’s henchmen trying to reach you, though I escaped unlike my companions. Your brother brought me here. I don’t want you to come with me and fight with us, because it is our war and not yours. I’m here to ask for someone to help us stop the war. Too many angels have died and I don’t think it’s going to end any time soon,” Castiel tells Dean.

Dean knows that he should send Sam to this, but there is no way he is going to do it. The forest is dangerous enough and there is a difference between a hunting trip and a journey into the depths of the forest.  There is no chance a human could survive this and Dean won’t send his little brother on a journey with no return.

“I’m going with you.” He says instead.

Castiel frowns. “Aren’t you supposed to stay here and represent your father while he’s gone?”

“Yes, you’re right.” Dean sighs. “But I am not cut out to be king, so this is the perfect opportunity for me. Please don’t think that I’m only coming with you because I want to run away from my obligations. I think it’s important to help you and I’m sure there are other people who can handle this here.”

The angel in front of him nods. “Thank you. I hope the angels can help you too when you need someone. I’ll make sure of it.”

Dean shrugs. “At the moment I don’t need help at all, so keep your thanks for later. How soon do we leave?”

It takes one more week until they can set off. Castiel needs time to recover enough to travel and Dean has to find someone who can serve as the king’s representative instead of him. Finally he decides on Sam because he thinks that his little brother is the best for this job.  They decide to travel alone, without any other knights or hunters because too many men are more of a hindrance than a help while traveling in the forest.

While planning, they can’t decide if they should go by foot or by horse. When Dean asks Castiel how he got there he just shrugs and tells him that they flew of course.

“But Lucifer and Raphael have people who are watching the sky all the time, so we can’t travel that way again without being spotted,” he says.

“Yeah and by the way I don’t have any wings, so I can’t fly even if I would ever want to,” Dean answers.

Castiel smiles and tells him that it wouldn’t be the problem; he could carry Dean while he’s flying. Finally they decide to take two horses because Cas still isn’t strong enough to walk the whole way.

They start their journey with enough water and dried meat to last two weeks. Dean also takes his bow, so they can hunt on the way. They get escorted through the town and the fields by Sam and two hunters, Garth and Ash. When they arrive at the edge of the forest they stop.

“Good luck you two” Sam says, trying to hide the concern in his voice. “Don’t get lost or…worse.”

“I’ll try my best.” Dean smiles “Don’t be the shittiest king this kingdom has ever seen.”

They share a manly hug and Sam turns his horse. “That would definitely be you.” He shouts over his shoulder. Dean shakes his head and looks at Castiel.

“Let’s go, we’ve got stuff to do.” 


	2. Chapter 2

They start riding. When they’d planned their journey they’d decided that Dean would lead them to the crossroads, the boundary between the harmless and the dangerous parts of the forest. Although Castiel said he knew the forest depths very well, he couldn’t remember the way from the border to the castle as he was only half conscious when he’d escaped Lucifer.  
Dean knows that they can enjoy this first part of their journey because the forest isn’t dense and no monsters dared live within his kingdom. He breathes in the air that smells like moss, resin and bark, the feeling of freedom tingling inside him. It’s refreshing to be out of the castle. It reminds him of the days when his mother was still alive and they used to go together to one of the rare clearings in the forest. Sammy had been too young to go with them, so it has been just him and his mother. His father had always been against these trips, for him it was dangerous and he didn’t want his wife going there without any guards. But his mother had just laughed and had told her husband that there was no need for a guard and that she could go into a forest alone without getting harmed. Sadly, his father had been proved right when one day a chupacabra attacked them and the trips came to an end.  
Dean doesn’t notice that he is smiling until Castiel asks him why.  
“It’s good to be outside, you know,” he answers. “If it wasn’t for Sam I would have run away the day I turned thirteen.”  
And without really thinking about it Dean starts to talk. About life in the castle and how it was, knowing from the beginning that he was the future king. That his father was never at home after the death of his wife and that he was the only one there for Sam. But he also tells Castiel about the times when he was happy; about his mother and how he got his first horse, which was actually a pony, and the times he played hide and seek with his brother. When his throat gets sore from talking he stops and reaches for his bottle of water to drink.  
“I’m sorry you had to grow up with that burden.” Cas says. “My childhood wasn’t easy either.”  
Dean frowns. “Wanna tell me?” he asks.  
Castiel hesitates for a moment when he breathes in deeply.  
“My father gone, lost before I was born and my mother died when I was only a few days old. My siblings had to raise me which wasn’t easy for them. Gabriel had to reign over a kingdom although he was very young. When I was old enough they taught me how to fight. There were already problems with Lucifer and Anna, my sister, always told me that I had to be ready to fight. Against our expectations he didn’t attack us but Michael and all the training had been for nothing because Gabriel forbade me to fight.”  
“I’m sorry for you.” Dean says, laying a hand on the angel’s shoulder –which isn’t the easiest thing to do while sitting on a horse.  
Neither of them says anything for a long time as they ride deeper into the forest and Dean shoots a few rabbits which cross their path. When the sun starts to set Dean slows his horse.  
“I think it would be a good idea to rest soon. I know a good place not far from here where we can sleep tonight,” he says and looks to the angel for confirmation.  
“I’d like this,” Castiel answers, patting his horse on the neck. “I don’t need to rest but my horse seems exhausted.”  
Dean leads them through the trees. “Although you think you don’t need it, I think you should rest. You’re still not well enough to ride night and day.”  
Castiel opens his mouth to answer that he is absolutely capable of assessing if he needs rest or not but in that moment they arrive at the place Dean was talking about.  
It’s like they have entered a different world. The trees open up into a clearing, revealing the sky for the first time since they entered the forest. On their left is a waterfall and a creek makes its way through the green grass which is speckled with small flowers. Next to the waterfall is a small cave, big enough for a grown man to stand up in. Dean quickly dismounts and heads towards the cave, starting to light a fire. He prepares the rabbits for cooking and when he is finished with that he helps Castiel to set up their beds.  
“Don’t you wanna come over here?” Dean asks when they are eating. Castiel sits at least two meters away, his back turned to him. The angel stops eating. “No thanks I’d rather sit like this.” He answers, not looking at Dean, who shrugs. Suddenly he remembers that the angel didn’t want him to watch while he was eating when he was still in the infirmary. Maybe he just needs privacy when he eats-who knows what exactly is going on in the angel’s brain.  
The fire slowly burns down and they’re lying on their backs, wrapped in furs which keep them warmer than any of the blankets in the castle would. Castiel indeed has his wings wrapped around him, using them as a blanket. Dean doesn’t know if the angel is sleeping or not, the only thing he hears is Castiels steady breathing. He looks up at the sky, seeing that it’s a bit cloudy but still clear enough to see the moon and a few stars. He recognizes a few constellations; astronomy was never one of his strong points. Suddenly he hears Cas grave voice next to him. “Can you see the six stars in a circle with one star in the middle? It’s a very important constellation for us- maybe the most important. It shows Charoum, the angel of silence. He was the very first angel on earth, some even believe that he created the other angels. It’s one of the tales every angel knows by heart.”  
Dean tries to find said constellation but there are way too many stars and he definitely can’t recognize a constellation which looks like an angel. Castiel seems to notice that Dean can’t find it.  
“The middle star is the angel’s head and the stars around are the shapes of the wings and legs”, he explains and Dean finally finds it. It still doesn’t look that much like an angel but now he has a rough idea of it.  
“Angel history then, huh? I thought that would be a thing only humans liked to do. Seems like I was wrong.” He shrugs and turns his head back to Cas. “Is it your favorite constellation too?” he asks curios. To know the angel’s likes and dislikes would make him more human after all.  
“To be honest, no it isn’t.” Castiel answers, a bit hesitant. “My favorite has the same stars as your Twins but with three extra. It’s an angel and a human, arm in arm. I think its meaning is important, that angels and humans complete each other. Angels are very powerful and strong and humans – you have emotions. I think we should work together again, like we did years ago.” Dean interrupts him. “You angels don’t have emotions at all?” he asks bewildered. “Like nothing?”  
“Yes, we have emotions but they aren’t as strong as your emotions. Normally we only experience very strong feelings like sorrow or hate and even they are barely there”  
“Normally?” Dean lifts his eyebrow.  
“It seems that I have stronger emotions than other angels.” Castiel shifts in his place, uncomfortable. “It was one of the reasons I volunteered to search for a human to help us. I thought that maybe it would be better if I talked to you rather than one of my brother’s soldiers. Besides…I always was different because I felt more than the other angels and some of them said it was a problem because I have “too much heart”. But in comparison with a man my emotions aren’t really strong. From your point of view I must seem like an emotionless monster.”  
Dean sits up and looks straight at Castiel. It’s dark and the only reason that he can see the angel is that Castiels eyes are glowing a deep blue.  
“You. Are. No. Monster.” He says, stressing every single word. “A monster kills and does terrible things because it likes it and doesn’t question its actions. I have seen many monsters on my hunting trips and you aren’t like one of them. You are maybe even more human than some hunters or knights I know.”  
Castiel stares at him and Dean isn’t sure for a second if he did something wrong.  
“Thank you, Dean,” Cas finally says. “But you don’t really know me, so how can you see if I am a good person or not? What if you are wrong?”  
“I’m not wrong, I just know it.” Dean answers, although he has the feeling that he just crossed a line. It’s something different to help a creature than to tell him that he is no monster. He lies back again and pulls the fur up to his chin. “I’m going to sleep, tomorrow is going to be an exhausting day. Goodnight Cas.” The prince closes his eyes and tries to relax on the hard floor underneath him. When he is nearly asleep he hears a quiet “Goodnight Dean”.

The next morning Dean wakes up before the sun rises. Only a few birds are chirping and it is freaking cold. He looks around and is relieved to see Cas next to him, still sleeping. He doesn’t know why but a part of him was afraid that the angel had left over night. Groaning he stands up, it’s so cold that he has to move. Dean starts to fold his furs and slowly walks over to the tree where the horses are standing.  
“Hey baby, how are you? I hope you two slept well,” he says to his horse, Impala, patting its back, before he starts to pack his stuff. They should set off as soon as possible because he wants to reach the crossroads when it’s still bright. It is going to be dangerous anyway but it’s better to pass the border in daylight.  
Dean’s gaze wanders over the clearing and stops at the waterfall. He definitely needs a bath. Within seconds he has stripped down and dives into the water. It’s colder than he had expected it to be, but at least now he is fully awake. He quickly gets out of the water again regretting that he didn’t bring a towel on their journey He knows it would be ridiculous but now his clothes are damp from his wet skin and it feels disgusting.  
By the time the sun rises he has started a new fire and roasts apples for breakfast. Dean looks at the angel who is still asleep. Sunlight dances over his face and the only thing Dean can think about is how beautiful Castiel looks. A moment later he damns himself for this thought. He shouldn’t think about his companion like that – he isn’t even human after all. Although he looks very much like one in this moment, with his supernatural eyes hidden, apart from the wings which are still wrapped around his body. Maybe it’s because of the smell of the apples’ or because of the sun or because he can feel it when someone is watching him, but Castiel opens his eyes.  
“Good morning.” Dean greets him. “If you want breakfast, you can have one of these apples I’m cooking here”  
“Good morning”, Castiel answers, standing up. He takes a few steps out of the cave and yawns. Then he stretches his whole body, including his wings. Dean looks at his wings, thinking back to how they’d looked when he’d first seen Castiel; it seems the break in the left one has finally healed completely, no longer crusted with blood, cut and broken and bruised. Now the wings are full, shining and strong. They’re black, not just black but many different shades, iridescent. Dean had never realized there were so many variations of that color. Castiel folds them on his back and looks at Dean.  
“I’m planning to leave within the next hour,” he tells Cas. “It’s going to be hard going in the deeper forest anyway but the crossroads are maybe even more dangerous than the forest itself. It would be the best if we can manage to reach there before sunset.”  
“This sounds like a good idea,” the angel answers. “When I’m done eating I’ll help you with the luggage.” And with that he turns and walks to the waterfall. Dean is confused for a moment– apparently this is a habit the angel isn’t going to stop. Dean shrugs and starts eating because he is nearly starving. He has just finished when Cas stands next to him again, packing their remaining stuff which is lying around. They quickly saddle the horses and put out the fire before Dean leads Impala out of the clearing back into the denser forest.  
“Can you see this baby?” He mutters. “This is going to be the last peaceful place we see in a very long time.”  
They mount and quickly their horses fall into a loose trot. Dean leads them through the woods confidently. He knows that they have to hurry to ready the day’s target before sunset. He will always remember the one time he came to the crossroads in the middle of the night. 

They’d been out hunting since the previous day and the only thing they wanted was sleep. Adam had wanted to rest where they were but Dean had insisted they cross the border to the safer part of the forest before taking a break.  
“It’s too dangerous in this part of the forest, Adam.” He had told his cousin. “Believe me, I’ve been here before and I know a lot more about it than you.”  
Adam had finally given in as they saw the crossroads in front of them. The pile of stones rose against the sky, hiding the stars behind it. Dean reached the border first and was about to pass it when he heard a voice behind him.  
“Hello boys.” He turned around to see a man with glowing red eyes standing behind them. “I’m sorry but you can only pass when I allow it.”  
“Who are you and what gives you the permission to say that?” Adam asked angrily, his hand on his sword.  
“Be careful what you say, it’s a demon.” Dean muttered, holding Adam’s arm back.  
“My name is Crowley and I’m the king here. So if I say you can only pass when I allow it, you only can pass when I allow it.” “And what do we have to do to get your permission to pass?” Dean asked, trying to be polite although he’d love to kill this demon. He knew that a red-eyed demon was too powerful for him to kill.  
“Oh you don’t have to do anything.” Crowley answered. “I just want one of your souls.”  
“You are not going to get anything from us!” Adam hissed and before Dean could stop him he attacked the demon with his sword.  
“Adam, no!” Dean screamed but it was too late. The demon watched calmly as the young man approached. He lifted his hand and with a snap of his fingers Adam was gone.  
“What have you done?” Dean shouted at the man in front of him.  
“I took his soul and his body. You can pass the border now. Oh and before you ask, no you will not get him back. Have a nice evening.” Crowley said and disappeared.  
“Come back you son of a bitch!” Dean shouted, although he knew that the demon wouldn’t come back.  
“Give him back or I’m going to kill you!” The forest kept quiet. The only thing that remained was Adam’s horse standing next to Dean.  
In that moment Dean realized that his cousin was gone for forever. And it was his fault, Dean, eldest son of the king of Winchester.  
“Dean, are you alright?” Castiel asks concerned.  
“Yes, I’m fine, I was just thinking.” Dean answers. He’d never seen Adam again. Or the demon Crowley, although he and some knights had been at the crossroads endlessly times to search for one of them. There is no opportunity that something like this is going to happen again. Not with Cas. That’s the reason he is trying so hard to reach the crossroads in daylight.  
A few hours later Dean can see the crossroads through the trees. It is still the same pile of rocks which extends nearly through the whole forest like it was eighty years ago when it was built to keep all the monsters inside the forest. The sun is still shining and no demon is within sight. The tension Dean felt the whole day is easing and he huffs out a relieved breath, noticing that he held it.  
“We have good luck it seems” he says and grins at Castiel, jumping of his horse. After Cas descended they start to climb over the rocks, leading the horses with them. It remains quiet and Dean relaxes, feeling a bit safer than before. If they are able to cross the border they are also able to make the rest of the way. Dean is on the top of the pile when Cas suddenly stops walking.  
“Dean, I think we have a problem.” The prince turns around to see the earnest look Cas has on his face. Alarmed he turns back again and nearly jumps. In front of him are standing five black-eyed demons, one of them smiling smugly.  
“Nice to see you again, Dean.” the demon says and Dean can’t believe his eyes. Despite the dark eyes he recognizes the face immediately.  
“Adam.”  
“Exactly. I hadn’t thought you would dare to come here again, after what happened last time.”  
“I tried to save you. I came back here with soldiers but we couldn’t find you or any demon. I’m really sorry Adam. I wish I could’ve done something for you.”  
“I’m glad you didn’t. Look at me. This is much better than being a human. I’m powerful, more powerful than you ever could imagine. You are weak in comparison to me. And you are not going to reach the other side of the forest.” The former human says.  
“Wow you hold humanity in high esteem.” Dean pauses when Adam snorts. “But it’s really important for me to move on, so could you please let us continue our journey?” Dean feels the anger that is building in his chest. It’s terrible enough that Adam was taken by demons, but being one is much worse. He has to stop himself from yelling at the man in front of him, knowing that it would be pointless.  
“No cousin, I’m afraid you can’t pass. My people want some other creatures stay out of this part of the forest.” Adam says, looking at Castiel who stands behind Dean. “Creatures like your lovely companion behind you.”  
Slowly Dean becomes impatient. “Adam come on, let us go. Castiel lives behind the border and I am his guest. There is no reason for you to refuse him to go home. Let us pass through or I’m going to kill all of you.”  
Adam throws his head back and laughs. “I’d like to see that. And the answer is still no, Dean. If you want to you can go but the angel stays here. There are already enough of his kind in the forest.”  
“I’m not going anywhere without him.” Dean says dangerously low. “You have to choose. Either you let us pass and nothing will happen to you or-”  
“Dean listen, it’s okay. Go. I’m sure you can make it to my brother and tell him everything. You have the opportunity to run, so use it. I will be fine.” Castiel interrupts him. Dean stares at him unbelieving and angry.  
“No, Cas I’m not leaving without you-”  
The angel interrupts him again, this time with a louder voice.  
“Dean. Go. Now.” He commands and looks at Dean urgently. Dean breathes in deeply and nods. He takes the reins from Cas hand and starts to lead both horses careful over the rocks. They’re unsettled and pulling forward, forcing Dean to walk quicker.  
After making a few steps he lets the reins go and the horses escape immediately. While Dean turns around he draws his sword and hits the demon who stands next to him. The demon falls on the ground dead and Dean can see the black smoke that swirls over the earth until it fades. He quickly faces the next demon – a young woman with blonde hair- and wields the sword over her head. She falls down too and Dean turns to the next demon who is Adam. Next to his feet lies another dead demon and Dean assumes that it was Castiel who killed him. He looks up to Adam but his cousin isn’t where he stood a split second before.  
Suddenly Dean feels a hand at his throat. He chokes and looks around to see that Adam stands a few meters away from him and holds him in the air without actually touching him. Apparently the former human didn’t lie about the part with the power. Dean chokes and tries to struggle free but Adam holds him tight. The man smiles.  
“Sorry Dean, but it seems like you-”  
“Let. Him. Go.” A deep voice interrupts threatening.  
Dean looks at the angel who stands between him and the demon with his wings fully extended. Dean’s vision starts to blur and the noises around him are fading but he is sure that something is different with Cas.  
“No, I don’t think I will.” Adam answers.  
“Let him go now.” Castiel repeats. “Or you’re going to regret it.” Adam shrugs and in this moment Cas growls.  
“I’m not going to release him. I think it would be better to kill him immediately.” Suddenly Adam stands in front of Dean, holding a knife in his hand. Dean doesn’t see Castiel moving but in the next instant the angel pulls Adam back from Dean and throws him on the ground. Dean falls down and looks up in the same moment when Cas presses his hand on Adams forehead. The demon screams and starts glowing from the inside before he is dead.  
Dean picks himself up and looks to Castiel who is still bowed over the body, breathing heavily. Dean walks towards him, stopping when the angel looks up. Dean suddenly knows why Castiel doesn’t want him to look when he is eating and why he always turns his back to Dean or goes away when he does so.  
Castiels eyes are glowing bright even in the sunlight and he looks furious, his mouth opened to a hiss. It’s the first time Dean can see his teeth. They are long and sharp and reminding him why angels are labeled as monsters.  
Dean is surprised when he realizes that he isn’t afraid of the angel although he should be. Normally there would have been an inner voice, telling him to run. But there isn’t and Dean moves slowly towards Castiel and carefully reaches out to touch his shoulder.  
“Cas, are you alright?” Castiel stares at him for a moment, his teeth bared, before cognition is washing over his face.  
“Dean” he says and closes his mouth. Slowly his eyes get to their normal brightness.  
“I’m sorry. Let’s go.” He mutters, not looking at Dean.  
They catch the horses and riding further, this time with Castiel leading. Dean tries to start a conversation a few times but Castiel always refuses to answer. After a while Dean gives it up and rides next to the angel who stares straight through his horses’ ears at the earth in front of him. Dean pays now more attention to their surroundings than before, knowing that they can be attacked by a monster every moment.  
Soon his thoughts wander to Adam. He is sorry about him; not because he died but because he became a demon. Adam always wanted to do the right thing and Dean can’t imagine that the demon he just met was the boy he used to know. The old Adam probably died the second he got caught by Crowley years ago.  
The forest awakes in the moment the sun sets. Dean can hear noises from every side around him. There are footsteps and cracking wood and sometimes a whisper in a language he doesn’t understand. Although this part of the forest is known for its monsters, not every creature that lives here is dangerous. Of course there are the vampires, werewolves, dragons, wendigos and all that but there are also fairies, satyrs and unicorns. (Okay, Dean never saw a unicorn but Sam swears that he saw one one time) Dean is pretty sure that no monster which is dangerous is going to wake up before it’s midnight, so the creatures around them have to be the harmless ones. Besides he is still with Cas and the angel is still one of the most dangerous monsters in the forest. Dean notices that he forgot that Castiel is exactly that – a monster- until he saw him at the crossroads. And he still doesn’t think of him like that, although he probably should.  
Dean shrugs the thought of and tries to distract himself with trying to recognize something but the forest is too dense and the creatures too fast. One time he thinks he sees a green fairy, but it’s gone before he can take a closer look.  
Castiel leads him away from the path in the forest. Dean thinks about to ask where they’re going but he is sure the angel isn’t going to answer anyway. After a while he sees it: They’re heading towards a huge gap in a wall of stone in front of them. Quickly they reach it and Dean sees that it leads into a tunnel. They get off from their horses and Castiel walks inside slowly, only stops to kindle a torch which hangs on the wall. He hands it to Dean and they go deeper into the tunnel. On the walls are characters Dean only saw once - in a book about the time when angels and humans had worked together. This here has to be enochian but Dean has no clue what it is saying and why it is written at the walls. He could ask Castiel, but the angel still hasn’t looked at him. Dean has the terrible feeling that he made a mistake, although he can’t figure out what.  
Suddenly the tunnel opens into a hall with a high ceiling. Dean has to crane his head to look at it and the paintings which are on it. It’s an exact copy of the sky at night with every star in it and Dean has to admit that it’s beautiful. He tries to find Castiel’s constellation and surprisingly recognizes it within a few seconds. When he looks down again he sees that Castiel has unsaddled the horses and speaks with them low-voiced. When he is finished the horses leave simultaneously and bend off around a corner on the other side of the hall.  
“Where did you send them?” Dean asks curious.  
“To an open place inside the fortress. There’s grass and water, so they can relax. You should stay here, it’s going to rain tonight and I think it would be unpleasant to get wet.” Castiel answers. For a moment he stands in the hall unsure but when he turns around to leave.  
Dean is surprised that the angel answered his question but when he sees that Castiel is going to leave he calls “Wait, where are you going?”  
Castiel doesn’t answer and keeps going.  
“Cas, wait!” Dean says and for a moment it seems that the angel is going to stop, but when he walks faster than before. “Castiel, tell me what I’ve done wrong. I’m really sorry for whatever it is, but just talk to me. Tell me what’s going on in your head. Please.”  
In the next moment he regrets what he said. He isn’t really good in talking about things like this and also doesn’t like it. But now he just has asked an angel for telling him what he was thinking and he isn’t even sure why it’s bothering him so much that Cas doesn’t talk to him.  
Maybe it was because he said Cas’ full name or because the angel had enough of Dean keeping him off from leaving, but he turned around.  
“You’ve done nothing wrong, Dean. I don’t know why you assume that.” The angel says confused.  
“So why do you stopped talking to me?” Dean asks the man in front of him, drawing his hand through his hair. Well that sounded needy.  
“I thought it would be the best thing not to bother you any more than necessary.”  
“Bother? You? Me? Come on Cas why should I be bothered by you?” Dean asks.  
“Dean, I’m a monster.” Castiel says with pain in his voice. “I know you saw me at the crossroads. You know what I am. There’s no reason for you to trust me or even talk to me. In your eyes I have to be something disgusting, something you’d rather kill than help it.”  
Dean feels a twist in his gut when Cas talks. He can’t believe that the angel sees himself like that. Sure, he is no human but for Dean he is no monster, no matter what he looks like.  
“Cas” he says, taking a few steps in the direction the angel is standing. “Yes, I saw you at the crossroads and I know what you are. But I still don’t think that you’re a monster. Did you forget what I told you yesterday? A monster doesn’t throw itself in front of a demon to save another person. And I don’t think that you’re disgusting. You’re a wonderful and talented being. You are the first person who ever listens to me apart from Sam. You volunteered to save your whole kind although there’s the possibility to get killed. I came with you because I wanted to, not because I thought it was one of my duties. If it had been like this I also could have sent Bobby. I trust you. I don’t see why I should not trust you, only because you aren’t human.” He stands now in front of the angel who looks down at his feet.  
“Thanks but you don’t have to encourage me. You can say that you aren’t comfortable in my presence.” He mutters, not looking up.  
“Damn, Cas! What do I have to do that you believe me that I am not disgusted or uncomfortable or whatever because of you?” Dean groans. “Look at me Cas!” When the angel doesn’t move, Dean lifts his chin up, so the angel has no other possibility than to look at him.  
“Castiel. You. Are. No. Monster. And I like you, no matter what. I don’t care if you have extra sharp teeth or not. Stop with the whole “I’m so worthless” thing, there is no reason for that!” He says angrily.  
“Dean you really don’t have to-” Cas says but is interrupted by Dean.  
“Damn it.” The human growls, before he leans forward and kisses the man in front of him.


	3. Chapter 3

The kiss is not deep, just a brief touch of their lips. Dean quickly pulls back to watch Castiel’s reaction. The angel looks at him surprised and slightly terrified.

“Is this enough for you to believe me?” he asks, drawing his thumb over Cas’ bottom lip. Castiel clears his throat.

“Could… could you do that again, please?” he asks.

Dean bends forward and kisses him again. At first, Castiel doesn’t move but then he kisses back. Initially he is uncertain, but quickly his movements become more confident. They pull back and Dean notices that his hands are in Castiel’s hair. He rests his forehead against the angel’s, and asks, “Do you believe me now?”

Castiel smiles and says, “Yes, I think so.”

“That’s good, because I have to say it again, you are the most wonderful person I’ve ever met.” Dean smiles at him and leans forward and kisses the angel once more.

“This sky here is all well and good, but I prefer the real one. Besides I’d like to look after the horses could you take me to them?” he asks Castiel, who nods. Dean takes his hand and follows him into a corridor.

“Cas?”

“Yes?”

“Where exactly are we?”

“It’s an old castle of the angels. Originally it was the king’s residence but after our species was separated into four kingdoms it was left empty. Only humans and angels can enter it because of the Enochian sigils at the entrance. I just wish I could read them,” Castiel answers.

“You can’t read Enochian sigils? Why not?” Dean asks.

“Because no angel can. We stopped using Enochian when our kind was divided. Every kingdom has its own language now and we only can communicate in the common language which humans speak too. We only speak Enochian instinctively, not on purpose.”

“Ah, I see.” Dean says.

They turn a corner and are standing in a courtyard. Years ago, it must have been paved, like the one at Dean’s castle, but now there’s grass where once there were stones  . There are also a few trees and in the middle of the courtyard is a fountain which is surprisingly still intact. The horses are standing under a tree and the moon is shining overhead. Dean sinks down into the grass and pats the ground next to him.

“Cas, come over here,” he asks and waits for the angel to sit next to him. They lie back watching the sky and Dean spots Castiel’s constellation.

“I can understand why it is your favorite constellation,” he murmurs, hiding his face in the crook of Cas’ neck. “I really like it,” he adds before he falls asleep. The last thing he feels is the angel pulling him closer.

The next morning Dean wakes up to the sound of rain and the feeling of something very soft tickling his chin. He opens his eyes and sees that the softness is one of Castiels wings, which is wrapped around him like a blanket. Suddenly he realizes that something is odd. Instead of being wet from the rain like everything around him, he is completely dry. Dean looks up and sees that Cas’ other wing is keeping the rain off him. He turns around to face the angel who is still asleep. Dean nudges him gently and says, “C’mon Cas, time to get up!”

The angel moves and opens his eyes.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” Dean grins and kisses him because it feels right.  The angel murmurs something that sounds like “morning” and yawns.  They stand up and Dean notices that Castiel’s back and wings are wet and he realizes that the angel has protected him from the rain but let himself get wet. As they go inside he asks the angel why he did so, he answers:

“I didn’t want you to get wet. You could have got ill.”

“And what about you?” Dean asks.

 “ It’s really hard for an angel to get ill. Besides I am already dry again,” the angel tells Dean and in fact the water has disappeared during their conversation. They have a quick breakfast before setting off again. It’s still rainy but it’s bright enough for the monsters in the forest to stay in their caves and holes, or wherever they live. 

Days pass and nothing really happens. They ride in daylight and alternate sleeping , one always keeping guard. They don’t light a fire because the smoke would draw attention and it’s been too wet as it hasn’t stopped raining. With every new day without the sun, Dean’s mood gets worse. Of course he can bear rain, during their annual rainy season he is more wet than dry most of the time, but three full days in clothes that stick, sodden, to his skin is one of the most terrible things he has ever experienced. It’s cold and they don’t have any food. Their own stocks are used up and because of the bad weather they haven’t spotted any prey. In a nutshell, if Castiel hadn’t been with him, Dean would have turned around and gone home. Or let himself eaten by a werewolf.  But Cas _is_ there and Dean feels so free in the forest, the walls of the castle no longer surround him and his only duty is to help the man next to him.

They’re riding along a path when the weather suddenly changes. Out of nowhere a storm picks up and the two men have problems fighting through the cold, howling wind.

“Son of a bitch, this weather isn’t normal!” Dean shouts against the storm, trying to control his horse. He looks at Castiel who has his wings pressed tightly to his body, his eyes shining through the rain.

“I think you’re right,” the angel shouts back. “This is not normal weather. I’m afraid it’s the result of Michael and Lucifer using their power to fight each other, this is even worse than it was when I left.”

 “How far away are we from your brother’s?” Dean yells.

“Two days, with this weather maybe three or four.”

“And there is no opportunity of getting there faster?”

“Our horses are going as fast as they can, the only alternative is to fly.  But that’s wouldn’t be a good idea. Lucifer is watching the skies and I don’t think we’d be able to get through without getting caught.”

Dean nods and studies the way in front of them, it’s muddy and not really a path anymore but one giant puddle. Suddenly something crosses his mind.

“Cas, do angels fight in the air or on the ground?” he asks.

“Usually we don’t fight in the air. There are more ways to use your power on the ground.” The angel looks confused. “Why do you ask?”

 “If they are fighting on the ground we’ll probably come across them. So we can’t stay on the ground and we also can’t fly.”

“I didn’t think of that,” Castiel says. “You’re right. They’ll be fighting along the border between Michael and Lucifer’s territories and we will have to cross this border to reach Gabriel. Maybe we’re in luck and they’ll have stopped watching the sky, distracted by the war.”

“Does this mean we’re going to fly?” Dean asks, trying to fight off the anxiety that’s rising in his chest.

“Yes, as soon as the sun sets”, Castiel answers, slowing his horse. “We should rest before then.”

They stop under a huge tree that provides good protection from the storm. Dean leans against the tree trunk and watches Castiel talking to the horses quietly.

“What are you telling them?” he asks the angel.

“I’m sending them to my brother’s castle by another route, which will take at least a week.” Cas answers. “They will arrive after us and hopefully distract Raphael and Lucifer’s men. Otherwise we would have to leave them here and I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Oh, I should say goodbye then.” Dean stands up and walks over to his horse. “Hey baby, it seems that we have to part.” He says, patting his horse’s nose. “Just stay alive and arrive unharmed. And don’t let yourself get caught by some feathery asshole.” With that he claps her on the back and the horses gallop off into the rain and wind.

The men watch them leave, Dean hoping they will make it. He doesn’t want his horse to become harmed in a forest full of monsters.

He turns to Castiel and gives him a quick kiss.

“And now it’s just us two,” he says, smiling at the angel, wrapping his arms around him.  Dean leans forward to meet Cas’ lips halfway. The angel always tastes like fresh air and something Dean doesn’t know and there is a calmness about him that grounds Dean. He deepens the kiss and lets his fingers curl into his hair. The angel responds eagerly, pressing his hands to Dean’s waist.  They pull back and Dean looks at the darkening sky.

“We’d better go. The sooner I get the flying over with the better,” he says, trying to ignore the anxiety churning in his stomach. 

“You don’t like flying?” Castiel asks unbelieving.

“I’m human, I can’t fly, Cas,” Dean chuckles. “But I’m uncomfortable with heights and I’m –um- nervous about being in the air.”

“Dean,” Castiel says, taking his face in his hands. “I’m not going to let you fall. I’m going to grip you tight and hold on to you until we are on the ground again. Trust me, you’ll be safe with me.”

 “I do trust you,” Dean says, breathing in deeply. Castiel lets go of him, only to stand behind him and wrap his arms around him. They are strong and firm and Dean thinks that maybe he can do this, as long as Cas holds him like that. 

“That’s good, because I trust you too.” The angel whispers in Dean’s ear. “Are you ready?”

Dean nods and before he realizes it, Castiel has spread his wings and with a few wing beats they are in the air. Dean closes his eyes immediately, trying not to think. The wind is all around them and rain beats into his face and the only solid thing is Cas’ body above him. But that is enough for him not to panic and when Castiel says:

“Dean, look at that,” he dares to open his eyes. It’s the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen in his life. They are flying over the home of a swarm of green and purple fairies and the whole forest under them seems to glow in different colors. Dean looks up at Cas and nearly smiles. With his glowing eyes he fits perfectly into the scenery around them and Dean thinks that he actually could enjoy this, if only it would stop raining.

 As the earth rushes past beneath them, the weather gets worse with every few wing beats. Dean can’t see his own hand in front of his face, the darkness only interrupted by flashes of lightning. During one of them, in a split second, Dean can see it: hundreds, maybe thousands of angels, fighting each other. Most of them on the ground, short silver swords in their hands, but some are in the air, attacking those on the ground. He can see flashes of white light – the power a few angels are using.  Its effects obvious in the many angels lying dead, wings outspread in the dirt.

Dean can feel that Cas’ grip has tightened around him and he can’t blame him for it. It must be terrible to see so many of your own kind dead with no end to the war in sight. The battlefield seems endless and Cas flies faster than ever before. Finally the number of angels thins out and it seems that they will reach the edge of the battlefield soon, when one of the angels looks up. His eyes beam with bright white light and he shouts something, pointing to the sky.

 “Dean, I’m afraid one of Lucifer’s men has spotted us. It’s probably going to get very uncomfortable.”

Dean looks behind them to see at least four angels following. He feels Castiel speed up and hold him even tighter, his wings beating powerfully against the air but the other angels still seem to be catching up. Suddenly it feels like they’re falling and Dean’s hands clench hard around Cas’ arms, trying not to think about how high they are, before he realizes that Castiel is nosediving into the trees. They slow and level out at the last minute, zigzagging through the wood and Dean instantly hopes that they won’t crash against a tree. Suddenly Castiel flies straight up out of the forest, only to dive in again seconds later.  He repeats the whole thing a few times, making Dean feel decidedly sick.

The rain is still pouring down and Cas is holding him so tightly now that he is losing the feeling in his arms. Dean hears someone shouting, followed by a noise like a fire igniting. He feels Cas tense and spin around a few times and Dean spots a white flash out of the corner of his eye.  One of the angels had used his powers to blast a tongue of white-hot flame at them and Cas had eluded it. Dean feels the adrenaline rushing through his veins and without hesitation he wriggles his arms out of Castiel’s grasp and takes his crossbow from his belt. Dean settles, this is a fight and he knows what to do; shooting while flying can’t be very different from shooting while riding. He can see the angel flying level with them now and aims. The angel falls back and Dean can see him losing height. He takes a second arrow and shoots the next angel who plunges down as well. At that moment, Cas dives down into a canyon and heads towards a small gap at the end of it. It seems to be a tunnel which would offer a great opportunity to escape, if it didn’t look too small for Castiel to fit through.

 “Cas,” he shouts, “I don’t think we’re going to fit through this!” but the angel only speeds up. Dean closes his eyes in expectation of hitting the stone wall but nothing happens. He opens them again, warily, to see that Castiel has made it and they’re rushing down the small tunnel. They’re out again in a matter of seconds and Dean turns around to see if the angels have followed them. He breathes out, relieved when he can’t see any of Lucifer’s men.

Nevertheless Castiel doesn’t slow down but keeps his pace and Dean looks at the ground to see that the scenery has changed. Instead of thick wood they are flying over dry land with deep gaping abysses in the earth. Suddenly, the wind turns and Castiel has to fight against it. Their progress gets slower and slower until Dean has the feeling that they’re standing still. He hears a sound which becomes louder with every second and then it’s so loud that Dean recognizes it. It’s the sound of dozens of wings flapping and before he can say anything they’re surrounded by angels, their glowing eyes staring at them. One of them comes forward and says: “Castiel. My lord wishes to see you. You must come with us immediately.”

Two other angels come forward and grab Castiels arms. “I’m so sorry Dean.” Cas says, before the angels around them start to move. They are chaperoned towards a chasm in the earth. It’s huge and dark and they’re diving into it. After a while they’re so deep that the sky is only a small strip above them. Dean can see Castiel’s constellation before the sky is swallowed by the darkness of the walls of stone and earth. It’s getting darker and the only light Dean can see is the light of the angel’s eyes around him. He can feel Cas breath at his neck, quick and erratic and Dean realizes that the angel is scared. Gently he squeezes Castiels arm and mutters: “Everything is going to be fine, I’m sure.”

“I wish I had your sanguinity,” Cas murmurs back.

Slowly Dean can see more of their surroundings. At first, he thinks it’s because his eyes have gotten used to the darkness but then he realizes that there is light underneath them. It glows orange and Dean can see that it is coming from the streams of lava flowing in the depths of the abyss. In the middle of the lava a black, stone fortress rises. Dean can feel the heat on his face as they head deeper and his clothes start to dry. They land a few meters in front of an enormous gate which leads into the fortress. Castiel lets him go as soon as their feet touch the stones under them and Dean looks back at him to see that the angel looks panicked. Dean remembers what the angel had told him about how he’d received the injuries which had led to him being brought to his castle and he understands the angels panic. Castiel had been here before, with other angels, maybe his friends. And he had been the only one to escape. It was no surprise that he didn’t want to be back here.

Two angels grab his arms and lead him through the gate which opens automatically. They walk along hallways and through courtyards and Dean is quickly lost. Yes, the castle looked huge, but he never thought there would be so many rooms. They arrive at the throne room’s doors and the guards seize their weapons. Dean looks on helplessly as they take away the knife Sam gave him years ago, which wasn’t even sharp but reminded him of his family and home.  The doors open and they enter the room.  It is large, but not as large as the hall in the abandoned castle. The walls are cut from the same black stone as the whole castle and at the end of the room is a throne with someone sitting on it. Above the throne hangs a globe of orange light which looks like pure energy, heat radiating around it.  Dean eyes the man who is sitting on the throne. It’s an angel with wings nearly twice as large as Castiel’s,  that are dark red at the tips. Lucifer –at least Dean assumes it’s him- has blonde hair and his eyes are glowing with a bright blue, nearly grey light. He watches them  cross the room until they are standing in front of him before he sends the guards away with a dapper wave of his hand.

“Castiel, you don’t know how pleased I am to see you. The only one who ever escaped from my dungeons.” Lucifer says and smiles. “I have to confess that I’m impressed. I thought that you would never be able to fly again, after my men were done with you.”

Dean clenches his fists instinctively. He definitely doesn’t like the way Lucifer is talking to Castiel.

“So, do you think you are going to tell me this time where your brother is hiding?” Lucifer continues. “Because if not, I’m afraid I’m going to hurt you very badly.”

“I’m not going to tell you anything,” Castiel says, looking straight into Lucifer’s eyes. “How ever you torture me, I will say nothing.” 

 “That’s too bad.” Lucifer sighs. “I wish I could have spared your friend here the pain. I am so sorry.” He turns to one of the guards. “Get Alastair!”

 “No!” Castiel shouts. “Don’t punish him because of something I did.”

“I don’t punish him. Well, maybe a bit. But actually it’s you who I’m punishing. Watching him in pain will be so much more painful for you than if it were you being tortured. Too much heart was always your problem, Castiel.”

The door opens and a man walks in who despite Dean’s expectations  doesn’t have wings and whose are white. It’s a demon. The next thing Dean realizes is that he is standing tied up against the wall with his shirt ripped open. The demon stands in front of him with a knife in his hand.

“Last chance, Castiel.”  Lucifer says. “Tell me the abode of Michael or Gabriel.  _Now!”_

“No.” Castiel says, his voice trembling slightly.

 “Such a pity.” Lucifer sighs and nods towards Alastair. The demon lunges forward and stabs Dean’s chest.  Dean hears his own scream before he feels the pain, surprised by its strength.  Originally he had planned on staying silent, knowing he can stand pain and he has endured worse pain than getting cut by a knife. But this is no normal, human knife but an angelic or demonic thing- he doesn’t know. The only thing he knows is that he has never felt so much pain in his entire life. The blade strikes him again and he can’t hold back his cry of pain. He tries to look up, but his vision is blurred out and he tastes the metallic smack of blood in his mouth. 

“Wait!” he hears Castiel shouting.

Dean knows that he can’t allow Castiel to tell Lucifer anything. The angel had borne so much so that Lucifer wouldn’t win this war, he had been tortured, seen his friends dying, sacrificed his childhood. Dean won’t let him fail just because he is too weak to bear this pain.

“Castiel.” He manages to say before Alastair strikes him again.

“Don’t-” the knife cuts through his skin.

“-don’t tell him anything.” Another cut.

“I can-” Cut.                                              

“I can take this.”

Alastair stabs him again, harder than before. Dean feels the way it draws across his whole chest, the pain unbearable, before everything becomes dark.


	4. Chapter 4

The moment Alastair walks through the door Cas has a terrible case of déjà-vu, the only difference is that this time it’s not him who is shackled against the wall. It’s worse, it’s Dean.

“Last chance, Castiel. Tell me the abode of Michael or Gabriel.”

This was exactly what Lucifer has said last time, before Castiel had felt the worst pain in his whole existence. He knows that the same thing is going to happen to Dean if he won’t tell Lucifer what he wants, but he has to defend his brother. Too much angels have died to protect their kingdom, some of them were his friends.

 _“Now.”_  The King in front of him says, his face shining red, a reflection of his _malpirgi_ or angelfire,the ball of fire and energy above him. He knew of angelfire only from narratives and hadn’t thought that it actually existed but he hasn’t time to wonder at the moment.

Castiel hears himself saying “No” to Lucifer, regretting it immediately. Dean doesn’t deserve to be tortured and Castiel can’t stand seeing him in pain, especially when the pain should be his. He had brought Dean to his place; Dean’s suffering was his fault. He sees how Alastair lunges out and suddenly Dean screams, the sound hitting Castiel as if he were in Dean’s place. He can feel again how the blade jabbed into his stomach, his chest and his shoulders, the pain the only thing, the only thing that reassures him that he isn’t dead yet. He feels, once more, how the knife was drawn over his wings, his cut feathers falling to the floor and the dread fear that he wouldn’t fly again.

Dean screams out again and Castiel dares to look at him. The human stands bent forward in front of Alastair, blood dripping from his chest. He lifts his head and Castiel can see that he’s spitting blood. His hair sticks sweatily to his forehead and his eyes are unfocused and Castiel has never felt so much pain. In that moment he realizes that he can’t do this. He can’t watch Dean be tortured by Alastair; can’t watch until Dean can’t take anymore knowing that Alistair will show no mercy, continuing to torture him when he’s already half unconscious. He’d rather betray his brother.

He connects himself with Gabriel, sending him only two words.

_“I’m sorry.”_

Castiel feels his brother’s confusion through their bond before he blocks it. He doesn’t want Gabriel to witness the moment he betrays him.

 “Wait!” he shouts, looking at Lucifer. The king lifts his eyebrow and opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by a weak voice.

“Castiel, don’t tell him anything.”  Dean barely manages to speak, interrupted by choking and shaky breathing whenever the knife meets his skin.

“I can take this.” The words hit Castiel deep in the chest. Dean is sacrificing himself for Castiel, for Castiel’s family, although he doesn’t know them, although they aren’t human and used to be monsters in his eyes.

“It seems that our brave young man over there has a problem with Alastair stopping.” Lucifer says, smiling sarcastically at Castiel.

“I’m kinda sad to say that he is going to die, like all your other friends. You really don’t deserve to see everybody around you dying.”

Castiel feels hot anger pulsing through his whole body. He won’t let Alistair kill Dean and reminding him that all his companions were killed in less than a month ago really isn’t a good way to keep him calm. Cas may not be a king, but he is the son of one and he knows how to use his power as well as any king.

“Lucifer, you should show me some respect.” He growls, baring his teeth when he feels the tension behind his eyes building up. “I might be not able to kill you with one move of my hand like my brother, but I am able to injure you severely.”

Lucifer doesn’t look very impressed.

“Oh, I hear that a lot! But nobody could ever put a finger on me.” He stands up and Castiel feels his wings shifting instinctively into a defensive position.

 “But I think I will give you a try, only because it’s you.” Lucifer nods towards a servant who takes off his gown. “Let’s have some fun.”

At that moment Castiel is sure that he is going to die. He has no chance against Lucifer and even if he had, the guards would never let him win this fight. Lucifer is going to take the energy from his _malpirgi_ whenever he is low on power. There is no way for Castiel to win. He breathes in deeply, feeling his amulet against his chest. It’s the thing that pools his powers and the feel of it gives him enough courage to not give up.  

Every muscle in his body is tensed when he focuses solely on Lucifer. They circle each other, eyes locked. Castiel cuts everything out except the king in front of him. Their surroundings, the guards, Alastair, even Dean’s cries of pain. He feels the energy in his body, pumping through his veins. He concentrates on it, while he’s watching every move Lucifer makes, preparing to fight any second. Suddenly a ball of white light speeds towards him and Castiel barely has time to build up a shield to protect himself.  As soon as he recovers he starts to attack Lucifer, luminous balls fly through the room. His energy dissipates with every second and he begins to tire. Castiel knows that he can hardly withstand Lucifer’s attack any longer. He feels his shield weaken with every blow, but he hasn’t enough power to fight back. In the next second he feels one of Lucifer’s attacks hit him in the chest. It’s painful and Cas can feel that it has burned a hole through his clothes and into his skin. Another hit in the same place and he will be seriously injured, probably enough to die. The next ball makes its way to him and Castiel manages to divert it, but it throws him across half of the room and into the floor next to the wall.

Castiel lies with the face on the black stones and tries to get up again, but Lucifer keeps attacking him and he feels his energy beginning to fade. Castiel crawls to Dean, who lies a few meters away from him. Alastair had left when the angels started to fight, leaving his victim. Dean’s eyes are closed and for one terrible moment Castiel thinks that he is dead. But then he feels the energy of life around him, weak, but there. With his remaining energy Castiel wraps them both in a shield to keep out Lucifers attacks. Gently he caresses Dean’s bruised cheek, feeling the drying blood. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. He wanted to show Dean his home, the places he had spent his childhood. He wanted to introduce him to Gabriel, knowing that they would get along great. He wanted to show Dean the beautiful sites of the forest, wanted to live with him. Being with Dean had shown him completely new feelings. Instead of just pain, sorrow, hate and loneliness he had felt loved, happy and carefree despite the war. And he realizes that he loves the man in front of him, that he is in love with Dean, crown prince and king’s representative of the kingdom of Winchester, and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with the human. The next ball of flame hits him in the back and reminds him that he never can have this. He is going to die here with Dean. Lucifer is going to win the war and will kill Gabriel, Anna and Michael. Nothing is going to be reminiscent of the four kingdoms because there will be only one: Lucifer’s.

Castiel looks at Dean’s face, overwhelmed by all the unfamiliar feelings.  He is now ready to let go, give up the kingdom, his life, everything. He kisses Dean one last time, before he rests his head next to the prince’s. He closes his eyes, waiting for the final blow that will send him over the edge.

_It’s a sunny day, when Anna takes him to a clearing to teach him fighting skills._

_“Anna, I don’t want to learn how to fight” he says, while they’re flying over the forest._

_“I know that you don’t want to, but what is going to happen when someone starts a fight and attacks us? You have to be able to defend yourself, otherwise they’re going to kill you.” Anna answers._

_“But you’ll protect me!” Castiel says, looking up to his older sister._

_“Castiel, I want to protect you whatever happens, but there will be times that I can’t, because I’m not there. You have to learn it, whether you want to or not.”_

_They arrive and Anna tries to teach Castiel how to fight an enemy without using powers._

_“Just hit me, Castiel.” She says exasperated, after Castiel refuses to several times._

_“But I don’t want to hurt you, it doesn’t feel right.” Castiel tells her._

_Anna sighs and looks at him._

_“When you’re fighting against somebody, you can’t let your feelings affect your actions. You have to fight until you have won. In a fight your emotions are a weakness your enemy doesn’t have.”_

_“But I don’t want them to be a weakness. They’re a part of me and I can’t ignore them, like I can’t ignore my wings.” Castiel answers offended._

_“You’re right, I’m sorry. But that means that you have to make your disadvantage the biggest advantage you have.” Anna says. “Make your emotions and feelings your best weapons. If it wasn’t me who was hitting you, how would you feel?”_

_“I would be offended and hurt.” Castiel answers after he thinks about it. “And a bit angry.”_

_“Do you want these feelings to last?”_

_“No, I want them to stop.”_

_“How?”_

_“I don’t know.”_

_“Think about it. I’m hitting you in the face without reason. Like this.” Anna hits him so hard that Castiel falls down. Lying on the floor, he feels how the anger in him overcomes him and he jumps to his feet and hits Anna in the stomach before she can react._

_“That was good.” She says a bit out of breath. “If you use your feelings to fight, you can be better. Try it again and this time, let all your anger and pain flow into all of your movements.”_    

 

This was the first time that Castiel had defeated his sister, he still remembers it. And although he doesn’t like all those negative feelings and actually don’t want to use his emotions like that he does anyway. Castiel opens his eyes again to look once more at Dean’s face. Without him Castiel would never have known love.

 _“Use your feelings.”_ He hears his sister’s voice in his head and he feels everything building at once. He feels the anger, about Lucifer and his war. He feels the pain for his killed friends, about his parents because he had never known them. He feels the jealousy he always felt against the other angels, because they had a normal childhood, not the worry of getting killed in a fight they didn’t want.  But most of all he feels love. Dean’s love of him and his love of the human and that he would do everything, really _anything_ to keep him alive. And he knows for sure that he is going to get Dean out of here.

Alastair’s knife lies next to Dean’s hip, he’d dropped it when he ran out of the room. Castiel takes it and stands up again. He never was one for fighting with power anyway.

_Make your disadvantage your biggest advantage._

Castiel sees the surprise on Lucifer’s face as he runs towards the king. Cas’ whole body hurts but he doesn’t stop until he reaches his enemy. He lifts his arm and stabs at Lucifer’s shoulder, but Lucifer is armored and the knife slides off. Lucifer draws his sword and starts to attack him, but Castiel manages to parry before he wields a stroke. He knows that he has the disadvantage because Lucifer’s sword is much longer than his knife, giving him more opportunities to attack.

 _“Castiel, look at him,”_ he hears Gabriel’s voice in his head, _“he feels safe and isn’t paying attention to his left side.”_  Since he cut the connection to Gabriel a while ago, this must be him, not able to think straight anymore and his brain is starting to simulate his sibling’s voices. Castiel beats forward and hits Lucifer’s abdomen. Gabriel’s voice in his head was right - Lucifer wasn’t paying attention to his left side. Finally finding a weakness, Castiel attacks Lucifer with fast stabs.

 _“Aah, that’s my boy.”_   He hears Gabriel again and Castiel nearly rolls his eyes. Hearing Gabriel’s voice had at first been useful, but that now was just so _Gabriel_ and he really didn’t need his brother’s comments while he was fighting. Castiel manages to push Lucifer back until the other man is standing against one of the walls.

“Well, this is surprising.”  Lucifer says, trying to push back. “I didn’t think that you could actually fight.”

“Not as surprising as this, I guess.” A voice comes from behind them and Castiel turns around to see his brother standing in the hall, surrounded by his soldiers.

“Gabriel, what are you doing here?” he asks surprised.

“Saving your ass, of course.” Gabriel answers. “Now get out of the away and let me fight my favorite enemy.”

Castiel steps back, feeling his exhaustion. He stumbles over to Dean, who is still lying unconscious on the floor and takes him in his arms. He looks around, seeing that the other angels are guarding the doors and Gabriel is still fighting with Lucifer. Although Lucifer is somewhat exhausted already it’s still going to be a hard fight for Gabriel. Lucifers _malpirgi_ is still hanging in the room, the energy filling the air, and as long it’s still there, it will be impossible for Gabriel to win. Suddenly Castiel makes a decision.

 _“Leave,”_ he commands the other angels, before he concentrates on Gabriel.

 _“Gabriel, get out as soon as you can. There’s something I need to do.”_ Castiel thinks, not surprised by his brother’s reaction.

 _“Castiel, are you stupid? You’re not doing anything. I am here to bring you home. Anna would kill me if I would come home without you. And besides this is so much fun and it is probably the only chance I’ll have to kill this guy.”_ He hears Gabriels voice in his head.

 _“Gabriel, just do what I say. Please. You’re still my king and I must protect you. Anyway, I’m going to come with you, just give me a few seconds.”_  Castiel pleads. _“Two seconds.”_  Gabriel says, before he executes a fierce strike that sends Lucifer to the ground.

“Goodbye Lucy! We’ll have to do this again sometime.” he shouts, then he flies straight through the ceiling, burning a hole in half of the castle.

Castiel still stands his ground, holding Dean in his arms. He can feel his regained power and focuses on the _malpirgi_ which is now hanging over Lucifer’s head.

The king looks at him with a smug smile.

“What are you still doing here? Didn’t Gabriel want you back or are you just enjoying my company?”

Castiel doesn’t answer but closes his eyes. The next second is going to be difficult. He has to use his powers while flying off without getting harmed. Or worse, getting Dean harmed.

Lucifer seems to sense what Castiel is about to do.

“No, you wouldn’t dare to-“

 At that moment Castiel lets go and sees the ball of power leaving his body and heading for the fiery globe in the air. The ball enters and for one moment nothing happens at all. Castiel, afraid that his plan hasn’t worked, rises up and flies towards the hole in the ceiling as fast as he can. He reaches it just as he hears the deafening sound of an explosion, followed by a wave of heat and pressure. The malpirgi has gone, all of its energy set free at once. Castiel feels the heat licking at his wings and speeds up. He gets out of the castle and rushes upwards, wanting to get out of the abyss. Gabriel and his men are waiting for him at the edge of the canyon, looking down. Castiel stops and turns around to see the whole fortress on fire, shining so bright that he can see it from there he stands.

Gabriel whistles appreciative. “You didn’t tell me your ‘something’ involved hot action.” He says, before laughing at his own joke.

“If I had mentioned it, you would never have left.” Castiel answers, looking at Dean with concern. He looks worse than before.

“We’ll have to get him home and treat his injuries as soon as we can.” He says, looking at Gabriel. “He was hurt by a demon’s knife.”

His brother nods. ““Okay, but let one of the guards carry him, you look a bit tired.”

Instinctively Castiel holds Dean tighter to his chest.

“No, I’m can carry him.” He says, earning an odd look from Gabriel who shrugs and commands the angels to move.

As they fly over the trees, Castiel holds Dean in his arms; the man is heavier than he remembers and he realizes just how exhausted he really is. Every part of his body is aching and the tips of his wings are burned, but that won’t keep him from carrying Dean. There is no way he is letting him go until they reach the castle and Dean is in the care of a healer.

Soon he can see the mountain rising out of forest and a few minutes later he recognizes the shape of the fortress. He feels himself flying a little bit faster, heading towards the place he hasn’t been for weeks - home. 


	5. Chapter 5

When Dean wakes up he feels terrible. His chest hurts and his head is aching ad he doesn’t dare open his eyes, afraid that the light will hurt too much. The next thing he notices is that he is lying in a really comfortable bed and slowly his memories come back. There was a black castle and an angel on a thrown and – a knife. Dean groans at the memory of the pain, before he notices that he must missed something important, including how he came to be in that bed. Slowly he opens his eyes and blinks, the bright light is indeed hurting him. He is in a light room with a big window opposite him and the walls are decorated with ornaments. He looks at the ceiling and sees that it is an exact copy of the night sky, just like in the hall of the abandoned castle.  
“You are awake.” He hears a familiar voice to his left. Dean turns his head to Castiel who is sitting on a chair next to the bed, his wings hanging over the back of the chair.  
“Cas!” he blurts out, smiling at the angel and trying to sit up but the action causes his head to ache more and he falls back and groans.  
“Is everything alright?” Castiel asks concerned.  
“Yes, it’s only a headache.” Dean answers, before Castiel reaches out to touch his forehead. A warm feeling spreads out from his head and after it has faded the pain has gone.  
“Is it better now?” Cas asks him and Dean nods.  
“Yes, thanks.” He looks around and asks: “So how did we end up here? The last thing I can remember is that we were at Lucifer’s.” He frowns at the sight of Cas’ constellation above his head. “Cas, is this your bed?”  
The angel flushes and Dean has to hold himself back so as not to laugh.  
“Yes, this is my room,” Castiel answers. “We don’t have an infirmary here, like you have at home. First, they wanted to take you to one of the guest rooms but I insisted that you should be in my room. I didn’t like the idea of you being too far away from me and-” Castiels face has grown redder with every word he has said and it causes Dean to reach for his hand.  
“You know, I’m glad that I am in your room. It’s really nice.” He smiles and pushes himself up, grabbing Cas’ neck and pulling the angel into a kiss.  
“But I still don’t know how I woke up here.” He says when he sinks back on his pillows.  
“Alastair tortured you and I was going to tell Lucifer where Gabriel lives but you told me not to. I fought against him and without Gabriel, who came to save me, I’d be dead now.” Castiel tells him while he runs his hands through Dean’s hair. “He wants to talk to you, if you don’t mind.”  
“Who? Gabriel?” Dean asks and before Castiel can answer the door swings open.  
“Eeeexactly.” The man says who has just come through the door. His wings are black like Castiels but they seem to be streaked with gold, especially at the tips. His eyes are glowing in a golden shade and it takes Dean a few seconds to realize that they are actually pale brown.  
“Gabriel please, do you have to come in like that?” Castiel asks exasperated. “You could at least knock.”  
“Well, given that I’m the king and that theoretically I own this place, yes, I have to come in like that.” Gabriel answers.  
Castiel sighs and lets go of Dean’s hair. “I’ll leave you two alone then,” he says and walks out of the door, only turning around to give Dean a reassuring smile.  
“So,” Gabriel says when they are alone. “Did he tell you how he got you out of Lucifer’s castle or was he all like… “and then my awesome and heroic brother came and saved me” like always? Not that I am not awesome and heroic.”  
“I think I would like to hear it from your point of view.” Dean answers while he tries to find out if Gabriel only wanted to talk to him about Castiel or not.  
Gabriel starts to tell Dean what Castiel did, describing every detail. When Dean asks him how he knows all this, Gabriel answers:  
“Oh, you know angels have this sort of really great connecting-your-thoughts-thing. And Castiel accidentally didn’t switch his off and I could witness everything he did.” Gabriel flops down on the chair that stands next to the bed. “You have to know that he really likes you. Maybe even loves you. And if you’re going to hurt him in some way, I’m going to find and kill you.”  
Dean holds Gabriel’s gaze while he looks at him with a serious expression. “I’m never going to hurt him, Gabriel.” He says and Gabriels expression turns from serious into pure glee. The angel claps his hands. “This is great!” he shouts before he takes a sugar cube out of his pocket and eats it. He takes out another and offers it to Dean who shakes his head. As he doesn’t know how long it has been in Gabriel’s pocket, he’s not going to eat it. Gabriel shrugs and says: “More for me then.”  
After a few moments of silence and Gabriel’s chewing, the angel speaks again. “Castiel told me that you’re going to be a king like me one day.”  
Dean breathes out loudly and leans back against the pillows.  
“Yes, I’m the older brother and unfortunately I will have to take the thrown in a couple of years.”  
“Oh don’t be so enthusiastic.” Gabriel says with a roll of his eyes.  
“It’s just that I don’t want to be king. I never wanted to and I never will. It’s too much responsibility and I’m not one for reigning over hundreds of nameless and faceless people and making decisions which are good for everyone,” he says, trying not to sound as desperate as he is.  
“I was always the one who went hunting in the forest and fighting in small wars. I am a good soldier and a good hunter, but not a king. Sam would be so much better but because he is the younger brother he isn’t allowed to be the king.” He takes a deep breath. “It isn’t about power, it is about who is made to be king and who is not. And I am not.”  
Gabriel throws a sugar cube in the air and catches it with his mouth.  
“Wow,” he says, more serious than before. “You really don’t want to be a king, huh? I would say you just have to try and slowly you’ll learn to accept that you have to do what you were born to and become a king, no matter if you want it or not. It gets easier, the whole power and responsibility thing. But in the end you have to decide what you want, because you are the only one who can make that choice.” He grins and stands up.  
“Castiel has been waiting by the door for the last three minutes and he is starting to get nervous. I’m going to leave you two alone with your lovey-dovey thing.”  
Gabriel opens the door and walks out, passing Castiel who rushes towards Dean.  
“Have fun!” Gabriel warbles before he closes the door behind him.  
Cas sits down on the chair with a concerned look.  
“Was it bad?” he asks. “Gabriel takes some getting used to.”  
Dean shakes his head. “No it was okay, nothing to worry about.”  
Suddenly Castiel takes off his boots, before he lifts the sheets and climbs into the bed.  
“What are you doing?” Dean asks him when the angel wraps his arms around Dean and tucks his chin over his head.  
“This is still my bed and I’d like to be in it right now.” Cas answers and breathes in Dean’s scent. “I thought that I was going to lose you.” He mumbles into Deans light brown hair. “I saw so many angels dying in that throne room and thought that you would be the next.”  
He pulls Dean tighter against him. “If you had died in there, I don’t know what I would have done, Dean. You are the reason I know what it is to love someone. I can’t live without you. Not anymore.” Dean reaches out for Castiels hand and entwines their fingers.  
“I’m here and I’m not going to leave you.” Dean assures him, turning around to look at Cas.  
“That’s good.” Castiel answers, holding Dean even tighter and bows his head to kiss him.  
“Because I think I love you.” It takes Dean a second to realize what Castiel has just said and his heart beats loudly in his chest. Apart from his mother, no one has ever said that to him.  
“I think I love you too.” He manages to say, before he kisses Cas. And he is pretty sure it’s true because in the short time he has known the angel he has become the most important person in his life and he would do anything for him, just to see him happy.  
When they pull back, Dean feels how tired he is and how much his chest still hurts, although Castiel is doing his best to ease the pain. He curls into the angel’s side and hides his face in Cas’ neck.  
“When I wake up you’d better be here.” He murmurs into the soft skin that vibrates when Cas answers.  
“I’ll be here.” The angel wraps his wings around Dean who slowly drifts off to sleep. 

When he wakes up again, Cas is still there, breathing in Dean’s hair. Dean looks up to see that Castiel’s eyes are closed. He looks peaceful and relaxed, an expression Dean hasn’t seen on him for days. He untangles himself from the angel’s embrace and kisses him on the nose. Castiel stirs and open his eyes, smiling then when he sees the man in front of him.  
“How are you?” he asks as he sits up and stretches his arms and wings.  
“Better now, after you used your mojo to heal the cuts,” Dean answers.  
Castiel smiles. “Good, I was afraid that it wouldn’t work, considering that it was a demon’s knife. They’re highly toxic to angels, not to mention humans.”  
Dean wants to answer but is interrupted by a rumble in his stomach. He grins, relieved because it seems that he is fine again and asks the angel:  
“Do you have something like a kitchen here, I’m starving.”  
“Of course we have, follow me.”  
Castiel jumps out of bed and starts walking towards the door, then he stops abruptly.  
“You have to put something on, you can’t walk around like that.”  
Dean looks down at the white undershirt that he is wearing. It barely covers his thighs and has golden adornments.  
“Yes, I think so too,” he says. There is no way that he is going to walk around with golden flowers on his shirt. Castiel opens a closet that Dean hadn’t noticed before and gets a few clothes out.  
“These should fit you, if not tell me,” he says and offers them to Dean who takes the clothes, brown trousers and a plain green shirt. Dean has to smile when he sees the slits at the level where the shoulder blades are.  
“Your clothes?” Dean asks Cas while he changes.  
“Yes they are” The angel answers. “But they’ll fit you much better than me – the shirt’s color matches the color of your eyes.”  
“Um thanks.” Dean says. “Can we eat something now?”  
They exit the room and Castiel leads Dean through the castle. The walls are made of a white stone and the ceilings are painted not only with the sky at night and day, but also with detailed paintings of the landscape and some paintings of angels fighting or standing in halls.  
Finally they enter a room with a large table inside, food piled high on the table.  
Castiel sighs and turns to Dean. “It seems that Gabriel once again had one of his moods and wanted to eat everything at once. Take whatever you want, otherwise it’s going to disappear in a few hours.”  
“Disappear?” Dean asks, cocking an eyebrow.  
“With Gabriel as king we need a way to have plenty of food, so he can choose whatever he wants and then have to make it disappear when he is finished. No one wants to eat what he has left over.” Cas explains.  
Dean shrugs, not understanding why someone wouldn’t want to eat that. The table is filled with the greatest food he ever had in his whole life. When Dean is finished with eating, Castiel takes his hand and leads him out of the room.  
“I want to show you the whole castle, if you want to.” He says.  
“Sure, I’d love to see it.” Dean answers, curious about the place Castiel grew up in. They walk through a few hallways and Dean is sure that this castle is even bigger than Lucifer’s and definitely nicer. With every new hallway there are fewer paintings on the ceilings and walls until they’re standing outside in a huge courtyard. Different from the black castle, the courtyard here doesn’t have a gate but ends in a cliff.  
“We don’t need any gate or portal.” Castiel explains, before Dean can ask. “We can see everybody who is approaching the mountain and the edge deters any creature that can’t fly.”  
“What about other angels, like Lucifer?” Dean asks. “What do you do against him?”  
Castiel points to a tower that stands on the other side of the courtyard.  
“We have many guards who are very well trained. No one comes through their defenses.”  
Dean nods, not really convinced. He doesn’t like it that the castle is on this mountain, seen by everyone and without a visible defense.  
A servant interrupts his thoughts. “Your Highness, the King wishes to talk to you and your guest.”  
Castiel frowns. “Can you tell him that we will join him later?” he asks the servant who shakes his head.  
“His royal highness wishes to talk to you immediately.”  
Castiel sighs and nods. “Alright. We’ll be with him in a few minutes.” The servant takes a bow and hurries away.  
“I don’t like it,” he says with a concerned face. “Gabriel never asks to see me as long as it isn’t really important.”  
“Then we had better go to see him.” Dean says. “You can still show me everything later.”  
They’re heading back into the castle and walk through – in Dean’s opinion – way too many hallways until they stand in front of a large white door. Two angels are engraved on the door, their wings extending over the whole thing. Castiel nods towards the servants who stand next to the door and they start to open it. Gabriel is sitting on his throne with his legs over the armrest and playing with a ball of light. He looks up when they enter.  
“Castiel, how long does it take you to get here?” he asks.  
“I'm sorry Gabriel.” Castiel apologies. “But I didn't expect you to want to talk with me. What has happened?”  
Gabriel jumps out of his throne and starts to walk around in the room.  
“I got a message from Michael,” he starts. “He is arriving tomorrow morning and is bringing a few of his advisors with him who aren’t half as intelligent as my dumbest server.”  
“So what? Was this the only reason you had to talk to me immediately?" Castiel asks exasperated.  
“I wasn't finished,” Gabriel continues. “Raphael sent him a message. It seems that your heroic – um assassination at Lucy’s has had more consequences than we’d thought. Every angel who was in the castle died, including Lucifer. Raphael is pissed because we killed his war buddy and wants a fight. Michael asked him to negotiate a ceasefire now that the main leader of the fight is dead, but Raphael is stubborn and now I need both of you.”  
“Lucifer is dead?” Castiel asks unbelieving.  
“Yes, thanks to you.” Gabriel bumps his shoulder. “It seems that you good for something after all.”  
“But I didn't want to-”  
“Yes, I think that you wanted to.” Gabriel interrupts him. “You should have seen your face, I’ve never seen you that angry and determined to do something.”  
“And what have I got to do with that?” Dean asks Gabriel.  
“Michael wants you to attend our –and I’m quoting- “Council of war”. I bet he only wanted to write ‘council of war’ because it sounds so important, you hardly can call it that.” Gabriel says.  
“What would you call it then?” Dean asks.  
“I’m thinking of something like screaming match- at least the last one ended that way. Well, actually there were only two persons who were screaming: Michael’s advisors.” Gabriel answers. “They couldn’t agree whether if it’s better to attack a flying angel from the right or the left.”  
“Seriously?”  
“Yes, I remember that.” Castiel remarks. “It ended up with Michael sending them home. I hope that they don’t accompany him this time.”  
“At least we could call it a screaming match then and ask for a cover charge.” Gabriel grins. Then we would have at least one success, because Michael and I never going to agree on anything.”  
“Maybe it will work for once,” Castiel answers and slips his arm around Dean’s waist. “We have a human who is impartial.”  
“I hope so.” Gabriel sighs. “I’m sick of war, except for killing half of our population, nobody has achieved anything.” He walks back to his chair and flops on it.  
“That was all I wanted, you can go back to your earlier activities, whatever you two were doing.” He starts wriggling his eyebrows and Castiel groans and pulls Dean out of the room.  
“Come on we have better things to do than to listen to him.”  
For the rest of the day Castiel shows Dean the castle, which is even bigger than Dean had imagined. When they enter the garden in the heart of the building Dean suddenly hears a familiar noise.  
“Is this what I think it is?” he asks Castiel who walks next to him.  
“Yes, they arrived yesterday,” the angel answers, smiling because of Dean’s excitement.  
“Hey baby,” Dean says when the horses are finally in sight. “You don’t know how glad I am that you’re fine.” He pets the horse’s neck and turns to Castiel.  
“Don’t you have something like a stable?” he asks him.  
“No we don’t, I’m sorry.” Castiel answers. “We don’t own any horses so don’t need one. But if you want to have a stable I am sure that someone can build one in a few days.”  
Dean looks around. They stand on rich green grass surrounded by trees. A small stream makes its way through the grass and feeds a pond, the air is clear and except for the singing of a few birds, everything is quiet. Dean turns back to Castiel and says: “No, I think this is much better than any stable.”  
Castiel smiles and nods before he asks: “Shall we go inside? I think dinner is ready.”  
Dean agrees and they go back in the main hall. Gabriel is already there and they spend the whole dinner listening to the king who is complaining the whole time that the food isn't sweet enough. Later they lay together in Castiels bed, the angel in Dean’s arms, his head on the other man’s chest.  
After a while Dean interrupts the silence. “What kind of person is Michael?” he asks, carding his fingers through Castiel’s hair.  
“He is a good king, takes his duties seriously.” Cas answers. “In comparison to Gabriel he is a bit stiff, but everybody is stiff in comparison to Gabriel. You don’t have to be worried about tomorrow.”  
“If you say so,” Dean answers. “You don’t know how glad I am that I came with you, not someone else.” Castiel turns his head and looks up at Dean.  
“I’m glad you came with me too,” Castiel says, reaching out to slide his thumb over Dean’s chin. They lock eyes and Dean thinks of hundreds of things he could say. From I want to stay forever to Come home with me to I can’t live without you anymore to I love you. He says nothing at all but Castiel’s gaze shows him that the angel already knows.  
They fall asleep with their hands locked and limbs entangled and don’t wake up until they can hear the rustle of wings and shouting from the courtyard, followed by a servant knocking at the door to tell them that Michael has arrived. Dean quickly gets dressed before they go to the main hall to welcome the new guest.  
Michael’s wings are dark brown and his eyes glow a green shade. Behind him are two other angels, whose wings aren't as big as Michael’s and who seem to be the king's advisors. After the formal salutations Gabriel asks them to be seated at the table. Dean sits between Castiel and Gabriel and the first thing Gabriel whispers in his ear is that sadly these aren't the advisors from last time and that they’ll need another way to get money out of them. Dean rolls his eyes and looks at the angels in front of him who all look like somebody has died. Well, actually someone had died in fact, but Dean can’t see why that is a reason to look so depressed.  
“Gabriel,” Michael starts. “The first thing I have to do is to say thank you. You didn’t have to help me with this war but you have done more for me than I expected you to do.”  
“You are welcome." Gabriel answers with a serious expression. “I would do the same again.” Michael nods thanking him and continues.  
“You already know that Raphael sent word that he wasn't pleased to hear of Lucifer's death. He wants to fight and rejected every offer to negotiate. I ask you, to help me one last time, to fight against his army. If we can defeat Raphael, the war will finally be over.”  
Gabriel nods and answers. “I’ll help you. Although I really don't understand why Raphael continues to fight. He never had a real reason to campaign against us anyway.” He rolls his eyes. “The only thing we have to agree on is how we're going to win. Raphael has an army that is as large as ours put together because he has Lucifer’s warriors. But while his troops are assembled in one place, ours are distributed across the country.”  
“That’s right,” Michael says, “and therefore my advisors elaborated a plan.” He nods towards one of the advisors holding a scroll in his hands. “Zachariah, would you show it to them?”  
The angel-Zachariah- stands up to unroll the paper and Dean eyes it curiously. It’s a map of the angels’ kingdoms and Dean is impressed with the size of each of them. All the kingdoms are about the same size and they are marked in different colors. He quickly recognizes which color stands for which king. The green and yellow marks are all gathered in the same place and therefore have to be Raphael’s troops. The blue marks are shared over two main locations, one in front of what Dean recognizes as Gabriel’s castle and one halfway between the border and a canyon which seems to be where Lucifer’s fortress was. The rest of the blue marks are spread over half of the map. The red marks are similarly spread over the map like Gabriel’s troops and have to be Michael’s. Dean studies the arrows which show the planned moves before he looks at Gabriel.  
“Yes Dean-o, you can say what you think,” the angel says. Dean frowns when he hears the nickname but doesn’t say something. Instead he turns to Zachariah and says: “Are you sure that this will work?”  
“Of course it will work,” Zachariah answers exasperated “I’m the one who planned it.”  
“In that case you didn’t plan well,” Dean says. “With the positions your troops are at the moment they’ll have no chance to assemble before the enemy attacks them. Every single soldier will be killed before you can mount an attack.”  
“And who are you to make such an assessment?” Zachariah says with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “As far as I can see you’re not even an angel.”  
Dean feels Castiel grab his hand under the table and squeeze it but Dean gently pulls his hand away. He stands up and looks Zachariah straight in the eyes.  
“I’m Dean, prince and eldest son of King John of Winchester. I’m here to give advice to my host, King Gabriel and his brother Castiel in all matters concerning this war.” He lifts his chin “I was taught by the best human tacticians, warriors and men of letters who ever lived. I know how to fight and I know that the way you have planned to attack Raphael won’t work. If you want to do it your way, go ahead, it’s not my species that is going to die.”  
Zachariah looks like he is going to jump down Dean’s throat any second but Michael reaches out and pushes him back into his chair.  
“Sit down Zachariah.” He says sharply. “I want to hear what he is suggesting.”  
Zachariah mumbles something that sounds like: “He is human.” But after Michael shoots him a warning look, he goes quiet. Dean breathes in deeply. He hasn’t thought about an alternate plan yet and they expect something from him now. Something good. Castiel seems to feel his nervousness and starts to draw circles with his thumb on the back of his hand.  
“Castiel told me that Raphael’s kingdom is a total monarchy,” he starts. “He is the only one who has power and there is nobody else, not even representatives or anyone who leads the army except for him. If we can kill Raphael, there will be nobody left who will fight back and start an attack.”  
“You propose that we don’t concentrate on the war but only on Raphael?” Michael’s other advisor says and Dean is surprised to hear him speak. He had nearly forgotten that he was there.  
“Yes, that’s what I had in mind,” he answers.  
“I think that’s a good idea,” the advisor says and Dean wishes he had paid more attention when the man was presented to him. “We don’t have enough men to win this fight without great losses and we could end the war very quickly.”  
Michael nods and looks back at Gabriel. “Do you think we can agree on this?” he asks the other king.  
“Sure we can.” Gabriel answers grinning. He stands up and claps his hands. “Now, that we are finished-”  
Castiel interrupts his brother: “No, we are not finished. We have only decided that we’re going to concentrate on Raphael. You want to end this war, show some commitment achieving that!”  
Gabriel sighs and sits down again. “And what are you suggesting we talk about?” he asks Castiel.  
“Who is going to do it Gabriel?” Castiel asks in a quiet voice. “Raphael never leaves his castle and won’t get himself into a duel. So who is going to kill Raphael in secret, at the risk of his own life? We can’t afford to send more than maybe five men to kill him because it would attract too much attention and we don’t know where he is or how well shielded he is from assailants.”  
“We do know.” A voice Dean has never heard comes from behind them. He turns around to see a redheaded woman who leans against the wall next to the door with her arms crossed. She is in full armor and looks like she has just come from the battlefield.  
“Anna!” Gabriel shouts out, walking towards the newcomer. “Why are you here? What happened? Are you okay?”  
“Yes, I’m alright Gabriel,” she says, sitting down on the chair a servant offers her. “And I’m here to report what’s going on, on the battlefield.”  
“Excuse me, but you said we knew there Raphael was?” Michael asks curiously, leaning forward over the table.  
“Yes, I know,” Anna answers. “We sent spies to him a few years ago, because we didn't trust him. Our informants have very reliable information about his abode and how many guards he has. If we can find someone who is willing to kill Raphael it won't be a problem to get to him. He never leaves his room anyway.”  
“Why is it that hard to find someone who is going to kill Raphael?” Dean asks. “Isn't that something every soldier could do?”  
Castiel shakes his head. “Unfortunately not. Each soldier is marked with a sign which belongs to the king he or she fights for. A guardsman easily could recognize a soldier as the enemy. And apart from the soldiers we have no one who is willing to kill somebody. Raphael knows every member of the king’s families so we can't do it either.”  
“What about him?” Anna submits, pointing at Dean. “Nobody knows him and it would be easy for him to reach Raphael.”  
Dean wants to answer but Castiel shoves himself protectively in front of Dean. “No!” he growls. “Dean won't do it. He owes us nothing and it would be too dangerous. He will get killed before he can reach Raphael.”  
“And why do you assume that?” Anna asks, looking from Castiel to Dean and back.  
“It's not about that. I don't want Dean to go out and try to kill someone who can kill him with a snap of his fingers!” Cas nearly shouts and Dean feels the angel in front of him tense.  
Gabriel looks thoughtfully when he says: “Actually I think the idea isn't that bad. Sure, I don't like it but Dean has the best chance of all of us.”  
Castiel turns his head and looks furiously at Gabriel, his teeth bared and his wings spread wide. “Gabriel don't you dare agree with her on this!”  
Dean puts a gentle hand on Castiels shoulder. “Cas, calm down,” he says, rubbing small circles on the other man’s back. “Everything is going to be okay, but let me decide this on my own.”  
Castiel turns around and Dean sees the fear in his eyes.  
“Dean this isn’t the right moment to be a hero. I was serious when I said that you will get killed. I don’t want to lose you, not because of someone like Raphael.”  
“I know and I don’t want to be killed either,” Dean answers, looking into Castiel’s eyes. “But I doubt there is another option and I’m here to help you end this war.” He takes one of Cas’ hands that hangs loosely at his side. “Let me do this and I’ll promise you that I’ll stay with you here.”  
Castiel closes his eyes and breathes in deeply.  
“Fine,” he says. “Do what you think you need to do.”  
Dean lets go of his hand and faces Anna. “I’m going to do it,” he says. “What do I need to know?”  
“As I said, Raphael never leaves his castle,” the female angel starts. “He leads the whole army only with his thoughts, which is impressive and means that he is a strong enemy in a fight that requires power. But fighting with common weapons is one of his weaknesses, you shouldn’t have a problem defeating him.” She stands up and stretches her arms. “I’ll draw you a map of the castle later but I have to talk to Gabriel in private first.”  
As soon as she has left the room together with Gabriel, Castiel pulls Dean in a corner behind a statue.  
“Dean, I can’t admit this to them.” He hisses, gripping Dean’s bicep hard. “You are going to die, even if you can kill Raphael first. You won’t get out of the castle alive unless you have help. I’m going with you.”  
“But you said that-”  
“No buts, Dean,” Cas interrupts him. “I don’t want to lose you and if you’re going to die, I’m dying with you.” Finally he lets go, only to pull Dean into a tight embrace. “I just love you so much,” he whispers, his lips pressed against Dean’s ear.  
“I love you too,” Dean whispers back, his mouth in Cas’ hair. “Thanks for coming with me.” He pulls the angel a bit tighter. “And we don’t have to die, you know. We will survive and are going to live here together or something like that.”  
Dean feels Cas smile against his ear before the angel says: “Okay, I have your word.”  
“You have it,” he answers before he pulls Cas in and kisses him. It’s desperate and full of fear but somewhere also there is hope, hope that they can make it back.


	6. Chapter 6

The following days are filled with planning the next move. They decide that they're going to need a diversion that will draw attention away from Raphael's castle, so Gabriel and Michael want to attack an entire garrison of Raphael’s soldiers. After Castiel decided that he wants to go with Dean, they still need other warriors who want to come with them. Inias is the name of a quiet angel who joins them first. He is still very young, his sister is fighting in the army and his mother had wanted him to stay out of war but he is sick of sitting at home, not able to do anything to help. Their second companion is a blonde girl who is called Aria who is part of the Michaels royal guard and is eager to see the world outside the walls of the castle.

Dean is concerned at the naivety and inexperience of their partners. He knows that they will not return the same people as they were when they started this mission and they could easily get killed without having the opportunity to experience anything other than war and death.

It’s foggy, the morning they set off. Because Dean is the only one who can't fly they have decided that he will ride his horse. Castiel had offered to carry him, but Dean refused. The journey won't take any longer than one day and they plan to arrive after sunset. Dean isn't really comfortable with the idea of sneaking into a castle and killing the king in his own rooms, maybe while the king sleeps. He wishes there was another solution but Anna has already told him that there was no one else. They had met the day before in one of the hallways and Dean finds himself thinking that he kind of likes her.

 “What's between Castiel and you?” she had asked him after she came back from her talk with Gabriel. “He was really overprotective back there.”

Dean had blushed. “Well, we're kinda together I guess,” he had answered. “Or whatever you call that here.”

“Together, like you want to spend the rest of your life with him?” Anna had asked curious and Dean had nodded.

“Does something like that exists among angels?” he asked back. “That you want to stay together because you love each other?”

“Generally not.” Anna had shaken her head. “But Castiel is different from other angels, as you may know. It’s a good kind of different, though. Did he tell you about his constellation?”

“Yes he did.” Dean had smiled. “I can really understand why it's his favorite.”

“Even if I’d like to, I’m afraid I will never understand it fully.” Anna had answered. “But he has you for that from now on.”

 

Before they set off Castiel takes Dean by the hand and pulls him to a chest in one of the armories.

“I thought that you would like to have them back,” he says, pointing at the weapons which lie in the chest. “Gabriel’s men took them before the castle was blown up.”

Dean carefully takes his crossbow out of the chest. The leathered handle fits perfectly in his hand and he lifts it to his chin to aim tentatively.

“Thanks, Cas,” he says, smiling at the angel.

“No problem.” Castiel lifts his chin up and kisses him. “Just take the weapons you need for now and then meet us outside.”

Dean nods and turns toward the chest. After a few moments he decides on his sword and a few knives, as well as his crossbow. After a second of hesitation he also takes Sam’s knife. If he is going to die he wants something with him that reminds him of his family.

When he enters the courtyard his companions are already waiting. Aria jumps up and down excitedly while Castiel and Inias stand still.

“Are you ready to go?” Castiel asks when he arrives.

Dean nods. “Sure.”  Castiel grips him and rises into the sky, passing the edge. His horse already is waiting for him on the ground. As soon Castiel’s feet hit the ground, Dean walks over and mounts up. Castiel starts to fly up again, before he turns around one last time and gives Dean a quick kiss.

“See you in a few hours,” Dean shouts after him, before he squeezes his horse’s flank and starts riding. He can feel the muscles underneath him shifting as they move. It's a familiar feeling and a bit like coming home, after not riding for days. He looks up at the sky to see Castiel and the two other angels flying above his head. From his viewpoint he can see some differences between them. The girl's wings are smaller than the wings of the two men and they have a rounder shape. Castiel’s wings are larger than Inias’ which is probably because of Castiels relation to the king.

They have made the first part of their journey, quickly and Castiel suggests that they should take a break. They rest in a small clearing with large rocks and Dean notices that the forest is much less dense than at the start of their journey.

When he asks Castiel about it the angel answers: “Raphael's castle is built in a area outside the forest. We're going to leave the woods in a few miles.”

“Isn't everybody going to see us arriving?” Dean asks concerned.

“No, fortunately not,” Castiel answers. “We have Aria with us, who is very talented at creating shields. That's one of the reasons she is in Michael’s guard.”

Aria who hears to the second half of their conversation suddenly stands in front of them and asks: “Are you talking about me?”

“Yes we are.” Dean grins. “But you will never find out what we said about you.”

“Oh, I think I already know,” the girl grins back, confidently. “Surely it was about my incredible talents, am I right?”

“Yes, something similar to that.” Castiel sighs.

“You’ll see how good I am later,”she answers, before walking back to Inias who is sitting under a tree.

“They're so…I don’t know, young.” Dean murmurs and sighs. “I don't want them to get hurt or even killed.”

 “Me neither.”  Castiel mumbles back, wrapping one of his wings around Dean's waist. “Let's get it over with.”

Dean smiles and nods, before he shouts: “Alright then, let's move on!”

They keep travelling, the angels in the air and Dean on his horse. Slowly the forest thins out and suddenly they're crossing the border between wood and a stretch of land covered with moorland herb. The sudden sunlight hits Dean's armor and he knows that there must be a shining reflection, visible for kilometers.  It’s inevitable they are going to be seen by some guard he thinks, before he notices that the air a few meters in front of him is blurred. Dean looks up and sees that there is a kind of dome around them, concentrated around Aria. Apparently this is one of the girl's shields, keeping them from being seen. It's weird to be outside the forest after so long surrounded by trees. They keep riding over the dry grass and finally Dean sees a castle arising from the horizon. It grows with every mile and Dean thinks that this castle is the biggest he's ever seen. It's built from reddish stone and has so many towers and levels that Dean wonders how the hell they're going to be able to find Raphael.

They leave Dean’s horse in a town a few miles from the castle and walk the rest of the way, still protected by Aria’s shield. It’s completely quiet and Dean starts to wonder where all the people are. The houses are in a bad state, some without windows and most of them look abandoned. “Where is everybody?” Aria whispers and Dean turns to Castiel who lets out a sigh.

“They are at war,” he says, keeping his voice low. “Nearly everyone has to fight, no matter how old they are. Let’s keep going, we still have a while to walk.”

Finally they arrive at the castle's wall, still protected by Aria's shield. The main entrance is around a corner and when they turn it, they can see the angels.  They are everywhere, angels who don't look like any angels Dean has seen so far. These are wearing clothes in rags, looking hungry and tired. The wings of the most of them hang feckless in the dirt and the feathers are ruffled and filthy. Instead of glowing bright their eyes flicker faintly.

 “ _Zonacs_ ,” Castiel says with a low voice. “The poor people in Raphael's kingdom. They're coming to the king to appeal for food and support. A grass fire destroyed everything they had and the majority of them are homeless and sick. Raphael is supposed to help them but I doubt that one single person is going to get what they ask for today.”

“That's terrible,” Dean answers. “He should do something for his subjects, they’re suffering. Not even Lucifer behaved like that.”

“At least it will make it easier for us to get into the castle,” Inias mutters, surprising everyone else.

“Oh, you can actually speak,” Aria says in mock shock.

“You're right,” Castiel says, ignoring Aria’s comment.  “It won't be a problem for us to pass the guards at the gate. The only thing we have to do is to get into Raphael's room.”

They melt with the crowd, still invisible for the others. The angel's around them are too exhausted to mind them anyway, but their armor and weapons would attract attention if anyone noticed.

They manage to get through the gate without getting the attention of the guards watching the people entering the gigantic courtyard. It's crowded and the angels are standing tightly packed. They're all looking at a balcony with a throne and waiting for the king to come out.

Inias, who had studied Anna's map until he knew it by heart, leads them through the crowd to a side door at one side of the court.

“I think we should wait until someone shows up on the balcony,” he says. “Everybody will be distracted then and we’ll have the best chance of getting in unseen.”

“Let’s wait then,” Dean answers, before they all turn around to face the balcony. Dean feels a strange tingle on his skin that seems to be Aria’s shield she’s pulling closer around them.

“Isn’t it exhausting to maintain this shield for so long?” he asks her. 

Aria shakes her head. “I’ve shielded Michael for three days, uninterrupted. I’m used to this.”

Trying not to show how impressed he is, Dean turns around to look at Castiel. The angel stands behind him, his wings folded at his back. His gaze is fixed on the balcony but when he notices that Dean is looking at him he gives him a crooked smile.

 “Hey,” Dean whispers and leans against Cas. “I’m sure that we can make this. Nobody is going to die and we will return home tomorrow evening.”

“I wish I had your optimism,” Cas mumbles and hides his face in the crook of Dean’s neck. “I want this to be finally over.”

At that moment, a movement on the balcony catches Dean’s eye. He turns around, seeing a man dressed in orange clothes stepping out on the balcony. His wings are brown with a reddish tinge.

“That’s not Raphael,” Castiel says, narrowing his eyes.

“I’m very sorry to announce you that His Highness won’t be in attendance today.” The man shouts before the loud protest of the crowd drowns him.

“Move!” commands Inias and opens the side door. They enter it and within a split second they are all inside. Through the closed door they still can hear the muffled sound of the crowd, demanding to see the king.

Quickly Inias takes the lead and guides them through the castle, seeming to recognize every single floor and room only from studying the maps and once again Dean finds himself in the situation that he is walking through the hallways of a castle that isn’t his own. Anna told them that Raphael usually stays in his rooms, in one of the towers, so they're heading towards it. Aria's shield is still around them although nobody is in sight.

“Aria I think you can let the shield drop now,” Castiel says concerned because the girl is breathing heavily and her face is covered in sweat.

“No,” Aria shakes her head. “I don't want Raphael to know that we are here.”

“Wait-are you blocking Raphael’s powers?” Dean asks after he realizes what she has said.

“You could say that, yes,” Aria answers.

“Stop before it's too much, okay?” Dean says. “I'd rather Raphael know we're here than to lose you.”

Aria nods and they keep walking through the hallways, turning around corners and entering doors, only to end up on another floor that looks exactly like the last. They’ve been in the castle for some time and still they haven't seen anybody.

“Damn, this is kind of scary, where is everybody?” Dean asks. “Shouldn't we have met at least one guard or a servant or whoever Raphael keeps here?”

“I don't know,” Castiel answers. “The last time I was here everywhere was crowded. But that was years ago and it was during a joust. I have no clue what has happened since then.”

Finally their surroundings change from the identical hallways to a more open gallery and through the large windows they can see the courtyard. There are still a small number of people refusing to leave and demanding to speak to the king. They're standing tightly packed and are surrounded by guardsmen who are pushing them against a wall, not giving them any opportunity to escape. Suddenly one of the angels jumps at one of the guardsmen and hits him with something that looks suspiciously like a stick, in a desperate attempt to escape. Without hesitation the guardsman draws his sword and Dean sees the flash of the blade before a lifeless body falls to the ground.

Dean swallows hard and turns away from the window, looking at the shocked faces of his companions.

“That was hospiticide,” Castiel whispers, looking both angry and terrified. “According to the law it is strictly forbidden.”

“It's about time to end this then,” Dean says. “Which way, Inias?”

The angel turns immediately, nearly running as he leads them through the gallery and around one last corner before they stand at the curtail step of circular stairs. Dean takes the lead from now on, running upstairs. The steps are all the same and his calves start to hurt and he stops counting when he is somewhere between 240 and 250, before he slows down. He knows better than to waste all his energy climbing the stairs. He looks over his shoulder to see that Aria is falling behind, breathing in short broken gasps and the tips of her wings hanging nearly to the floor.

“Aria!” he shouts out. “Are you sure you are okay?” She nods, unable to speak. “No, you're not okay, we can all see it!” he hisses. “Stop shielding us, you're going to break down or worse!” he demands but the girl shakes her head. “I can do this, just hurry up,” she says under her breath.

Dean knows that what he is doing is wrong, but he nods and continues climbing the steps. While he takes the steps, which seem to be endless, he can’t stop the doubts forming in his head.

 _“That was hospiticide. According to the law it is strictly forbidden.”_ He hears Cas’ voice in his head. What they’re going to do isn’t any better, is it? Sure, they have to end this war and Raphael did- and is doing- terrible things, but _murdering_ him in his rooms? Even for Raphael seems too brutal.

Dean’s doubts reinforce with every single step. Damn it, he is the son of a king, the heir to the throne, not an assassin. He doesn’t even know why he volunteered for this. The only thing he knows is that he is running through an unfamiliar castle, followed by the person he loves, a boy who wants to impress his mother and a girl that is probably going to die because she refuses to give in. Not to mention that he is going to do something that is against all his beliefs.

But he can’t stop now and before he knows it he reaches the top of the steps. Even up here is no guard in sight, apparently Raphael feels very safe, not surprising considering his powers. Dean turns around and looks into the faces of his companions.

“Alright,” he says. “Aria, you stay in front of the door and try to block Raphael’s commands to his guard. As soon as it becomes too much, you stop okay?” he waits until the girl nods before he continues. “Inias you stay with her and pay attention that she doesn’t overexert herself.” Inias nods, takes Aria’s arm and leads her to a wall close by that she can lean against.

 “Before you say anything else I assure you that I’m going with you into that room,” Castiel says. Dean doesn’t know how he can tell but suddenly the angel says: “I know what you’re thinking. I don’t like it either.”  He takes Dean’s face in his hands and traces his thumb over his cheekbone. “Maybe we can arrest him and bring him to trial. I’m sure Gabriel would love to be the judge.”

“We’ll try it,” Dean smiles weakly before he kisses Cas passionately, putting all his love for the angel into the kiss, as well as his desperation and fear. He doesn’t know if both of them are going to survive this and Cas knows it as well.

“I love you, never forget that,” he says breathless when they pull back.

 “I won’t and I love you too,” the angel answers before he pulls Dean in a tight hug, resting his chin at Dean’s shoulder. Dean feels the wings around him and breathes in Castiels scent.

“Let’s do this,” he whispers and lets go. He straightens himself up and draws one of his knives, before he nods towards Inias and Aria.

“Good luck, Dean,” Aria says and manages a reassuring smile.

“Thanks,” Dean answers before he opens the heavy door which leads to Raphael’s main room.

In contrast to the rest of the castle, this room isn’t red. It’s nearly the size of a hall and empty apart from a single throne in the middle of it. There are no walls but the room is surrounded by huge windows and one can oversee half of the kingdom. On the throne sits an angel with closed eyes, the dark wings spread out. Unlike Lucifer he doesn’t have a globe of angelfire hanging in the room and Dean thinks that he probably doesn’t _need_ it. And this is the man he has to defeat. Awesome.

“Hello Raphael,” Castiel says breaking the silence. Raphael’s eyes snap open and Dean sees that they are glowing that bright that you only can see white.

“How did you get in here, I haven’t noticed anything,” Raphael asks but before Castiel or Dean can answer he speaks again. “It doesn’t matter anyway. What do you want? Or better what does your brother want?”

“We want to end this war,” Castiel says. “There is no reason for it and too many angels have already died. But we can’t do this without your help.”

Raphael throws his head back and laughs before he looks back at Castiel.

“Of course there is a reason, Castiel. You just don’t know it.”

“Tell me then,” Castiel answers, slowly walking towards the throne. “I want to understand.”

“If you insist,” Raphael stands up. “Look at this.” He points at the floor where a map of the angel’s kingdoms is painted. “How can it be that your brother and Michael are ruling kingdoms that is located in an environment so much better than Lucifer’s and my kingdom? Lucifer’s castle was in a _canyon_ and I have to live at a place surrounded by grass. It is not fair.”

Castiel looks at the map for a moment before he says: “Yes, but our borders have existed for more than six hundred years,” he says confused. “Why start a war now? Besides the grassland is much better that the forest. You can oversee everything, you don’t have any other creatures in your realm and you can raise crops. You could easily feed your subjects with very little effort.”

“I don’t care about my subjects,” Raphael sighs “What I care about is power.” He turns around and sits back on his throne. “I’m only telling you this because you aren’t going to make it out of this room alive.”

Dean takes a few steps towards the throne while he listens to Raphael. The angel hasn’t looked at him once.  “There is a reason I’m so powerful and it’s not only because I’m very talented. And I’m sure you saw the _malpirgi_ when you killed Lucifer.” He looks at Castiel. “I got very angry when I heard what you had done. Not because of Lucifer-he never really understood it anyway- but because of the angelfire. Don’t you know how hard it is to get?” His voice gets louder, until he is nearly shouting. “It took me years to find a spring and you just came along and blew it up! Lucifer wasn’t worth it anyway, he downright wasted it. He never used it the right way and didn’t know anything about it. He never managed to soak the energy into his body and I’m sure he would never have learned. The way he utilized it, it was barely more effective than the amulet you are wearing. But giving him some angelfire was the only way to convince him that he needed to attack Michael.”

 “Wait-“ Castiel interrupts him. “Lucifer attacked Michael because you told him to? Why would you want him to do that?”

“Yes, at first he wanted to attack Gabriel because of some issue they had never worked out or something like that, but I convinced him that it would be more successful if he attacked Michael. And you want to know why? Isn’t it obvious? Because only in your brother’s and Michael’s kingdoms do springs of malpirgi exist. And neither of them allowed me to harvest it, so attacking and defeating them was the only way to get it.” Raphael stands up again.

“Do you understand it now? The reason I’m conducting this war? I _like_ being powerful. You have no clue how it is to feel all that energy in you and the feeling that you can do _anything_. The only thing you need is a bit of angelfire and everything is so much _easier.”_

Suddenly the angel stands up in front of Castiel. “You know, it’s not fair. Why do you have it when you’re not using it? Why should I help you to end this war before I have what I want? And-” he stops for a moment.  “-if you only wanted to talk then why did you prepare an attack?” he growls the last sentence and Dean is sure now that this won’t end well.

“I didn’t prepare for an attack.” Castiel says.

 “Don’t lie, I can sense that you’ve been using your powers since you entered the room.” Raphael answers and Dean realizes that Raphael hasn’t looked at him and not because he thought that Dean wasn’t worth it but because he couldn’t _see_ him. And it’s not Aria who is shielding him but Cas. Suddenly Dean feels so much love for the angel, his angel, that he barely can resist the urge to walk over and kiss him senseless. He is a bit offended for a moment because he clearly doesn’t _need_ any protection but then he understands. Castiel doesn’t shield him from Raphael’s sight because he wants to protect him. He knows that it would be impossible to defeat Raphael with his power, but for Dean with his knives it’s not. The shield is to surprise Raphael and Cas is the distraction. Dean grips his knife tighter and walks towards Raphael. He is halfway there when Raphael pushes Castiel away from him, he crashes against the only wall in the room and falls to the floor unconscious. In the same moment Dean feels that the shield around him is gone.

Raphael turns around and Dean sees his surprise that there is another person in the room. Dean speeds up, knowing that he can use the surprise to his advantage. He reaches Raphael just as the angel lifts his arm to attack him and Dean ducks down. He feels the energy rushing past his ear before he strikes out and hits one of Raphael’s wings. Originally he’d meant to hit Raphael’s body but because of his side step he wasn’t totally focused. Regardless, Raphael cries out in pain and Dean is surprised for a moment. It seems that Raphael’s wings are more sensitive than others and it crosses Dean’s mind that maybe this is because he barely uses them.

“It was you Castiel used his powers on, right?” Raphael pants, before he straightens up and narrows his eyes at Dean. Dean doesn’t answer but concentrates on his opponent’s body, trying to find a weak point or a loophole in his defense. But Raphael keeps his body shielded and draws a sword from somewhere. They start to circle each other slowly, concentrating on every move the other makes. Suddenly Dean notices that Raphael has problems shielding his wings and although he doesn’t like the idea of hurting someone’s wings it is probably the only way to break through the angel’s defenses. He parries one of Raphael’s attacks and hits the wing again, causing the angel to tumble backwards. Dean keeps attacking him until the back of his knees hit his throne and he falls onto it. His wings are badly damaged but instead of blood there is white light leaving Raphael’s body through the wounds. Dean stops wielding his knife and bends over Raphael.

 “I don’t want to kill you but I’m afraid I’ll have to, unless you come with us unresisting.” He growls in the angel’s ear.

“And why should I do what you say?” Raphael asks.

“I wouldn’t be that condescending in your position,” Dean answers, keeping his voice low. “Because I can kill you with one single thrust of my hand.” He looks at the knife in his hand that’s pointing directly at Raphael’s heart. “What do you choose? Surviving or dying?”

Raphael looks at him deadpanned. “I can kill you with a single snap of my fingers.”

“I’m afraid you can’t,” Dean answers with a sarcastic smile. “Look at all that energy that’s flowing out of your body.”

Raphael looks at his wings terrified. “What have you done?” he asks, his terror turning into anger. “Don’t you know how valuable angelfire is?”

Dean ignores Raphael’s questions. “What do you choose?” he asks slightly impatiently.                          

Raphael is quiet for a moment before he says: “I’m coming with you. Without resistance.”

Dean nods and takes his knife back at his belt, before he turns around and walks towards Castiel, ignoring Raphael completely. Dean kneels down next to Castiel’s head, worried that the angel is hurt. He’s been unconscious for at least five minutes now and Dean starts to be truly concerned. He holds his armored wrist over the angel’s mouth, checking his breathing. When he sees the metal fogging up he lets out a relieved breath. Cas is alive and in the moment Dean takes his face in his hand the angel’s eyes flutter open.

“Did you make it?” he asks and Dean nods. “He is coming with us unresisting.” He whispers. “Can you stand up?”

With Dean’s help Castiel gets up and stretches his wings out for better balance and Dean wraps an arm around Cas’ waist to support his weight.  “Are you okay?” he asks gently, when he suddenly hears a loud crack.

“It was nice to meet you, Castiel.” They hear Raphael’s voice and turn around. The angel is sitting in one of the windows which is broken. Wind blows through it and suddenly it becomes very cold in the hall. “Tell your brother that I wish him good luck winning this war.” Dean starts running towards the window.

“Raphael, wait-” he shouts before the angel smiles smugly and jumps out of the window.

 “Damn it!” he swears, before he looks down and sees that Raphael is falling. The angel tries to move his wings but either they’re too damaged because of Dean’s attack or they are just weak from disuse. Either way he keeps falling, not stopping until he hits the ground. Dean stands there in shock for a moment, glad that they’re too high up to hear the sound of it. He looks at Castiel who’s arrived at the window too, looking down disbelieving.

“Did he...just jumped out of the window and…died?”

“It seems like that,” Dean answers bewildered. He hadn’t expected something like that. “Come on let’s go. We should look after Aria and Inias.”

Castiel hesitates for a moment and nods, taking Dean’s arm to support his own weight, since his steps are still a bit wobbly. Dean opens the door to the hallway and sees Inias sitting there. Aria lies on the floor, her head pillowed in Inias’ lap. Hearing the opening of the door the angel looks up.

 “She’s alive,” he says and Dean smiles, feeling himself filling with relief. “It was fantastic.” Inias continues. “She held this shield nearly the whole time you two were in the room. Only maybe two minutes ago she let go and collapsed. I can’t imagine how exhausting it was for her.”

“Neither can I,” Dean murmurs and kneels down next to Aria, feeling her pulse. It’s strong, considering that she just blocked the powers of Raphael until his death.

“Do you think you can carry her?” he asks Inias who nods.

They leave the castle the way they came in, Inias carrying Aria who is still unconscious and Dean supporting Castiel although the angel’s steps become surer with every minute. Finally they enter the courtyard, the angels still standing pressed to the wall, whispering and pointing at the guard. The guardsmen have dropped their weapons and look as if they’ve just woken up  from a dream, blinking into the sunlight. One of them spots Dean and his companions and walks towards them.

“My name is Balthazar,” he says and offers his hand to Castiel and Dean. “Can you tell me what happened that broke the connection between Raphael and us? The only thing I know is that I’ve tried unsuccessfully to fight against his orders but now we’re free.”

 “I’m pleased to meet you,” Dean answers and shakes the offered hand. “Raphael tried to escape through the window and fell to death. His body lies behind his tower.”

“I’m sorry that we are the cause of your kingdom is being unguided for the present.” Castiel adds. “I’m sure we can send someone to help build a new government.”

“Believe me, I’m glad about his death and appreciate your offer. Thank you,” Balthazar answers.

Shortly afterwards they leave the kingdom which had been Raphael’s.  Aria who is awake again is riding Dean’s horse and Cas is carrying Dean.  Castiel has sent Gabriel a message via his thoughts that Raphael is dead and they are heading home.

Dean flies over the ground, held by Castiel’s strong arms. The wind is blowing in his face and he isn’t afraid at all, knowing that Cas will keep him safe. A sudden thought makes him spread his arms, feeling the way the air flows around them. He feels Cas smiling at his ear and the angel says:

 “I always knew that you would enjoy flying once you got over your fear.”

“Of course I do.” Dean smiles. “I’ve never felt this free before.” Castiel kisses him above the ear before he asks: “Do you trust me, Dean?”

“Yes, why do you-” Suddenly Cas dives down between the trees before he flies up again.

“ _This_ is the freedom of flying.” He says and Dean turns his head around and smiles at Cas. “It’s perfect.”

“I’d love to do this with you more often,” Castiel says and Dean feels like happiest man in the world.

They arrive back at the castle in the late afternoon, slightly exhausted from their journey. While Inias takes Aria to one of the guestrooms despite her clamors that she is perfectly fine, Dean and Castiel are greeted by an already half-drunk Gabriel who tells them that there is a party inside before he tries to kiss them on the cheek. Quickly Cas pulls Dean away from his brother, mouthing that they probably should go inside to make it harder for Gabriel to find them.

Like Gabriel said there is a party in the main hall. It’s crowded and Dean has to hold Cas’ hand tightly so as not to get separated. In the middle of the room is a large table of food and Dean who hasn’t eat much in the last two days heads towards it immediately. Castiel follows him, smiling at Dean’s expression when he spots pie. It’s then that Michael comes to them, sober in contrast to Gabriel and says: “Congratulations, you have managed to end one of the most terrible wars in our history, when everyone else had failed,” followed by an approving smile. And Dean realizes that they have achieved their goal. The reason he had come with Castiel originally, was to help end this war, but it isn’t the reason he is willing to stay for a bit longer.  He has proven to himself now that he can do something. Something that really matters. And he knows that he owes this to only one person: Cas.

All of sudden he grabs the angel and kisses him, not caring that they are in a hall full of angels.

“What was that for?” Cas asks when they pull apart.

“I wanted to thank you,” Dean answers, “For everything.”

Castiel smiles and pulls Dean in for another kiss. This one is more passionate than the last and when Cas licks at Dean’s bottom lip asking for entrance Dean opens his mouth willingly. Their tongues battle for dominance and Dean lets Castiel win, wrapping his arm around the angel’s waist pulling him closer.

“Eew, could you please stop doing that in public?” a familiar voice says. “Get yourself a room.”

Dean lets go from Cas’ mouth, looking at the person who’d spoken. “Aria, aren’t you supposed to stay in your room?”

The girl frowns. “Yes, but I didn’t want to and came here instead.” She grabs one of the apples from the table and walks away. With a last look over her shoulder she shouts: “I meant it when I said you should get yourselves a room!” before she gets lost in the shuffle.

As soon she disappears Cas’ mouth is again on Dean’s, attacking his lips hungrily.

“I think we should go to our room.” Castiel says a bit out of breath and Dean nods, taking his hand again and leading them through the other angels in the hall. They nearly run upstairs until they finally reach the door, stumbling into the room. Dean finds himself pressed between the door and Castiel who is sucking on his lower lip. Dean moans and grabs Castiel’s hips, pulling them to his own. Castiel rolls his hips against Dean’s before he pushes a knee between his legs to give Dean more friction. Dean rubs himself against Cas’ thigh, his hands wandering over the angel’s body, needing the feel of skin on skin. He feels hands under his shirt, fingers grazing over his abdomen. He pulls on Castiel’s shirt, grunting in frustration when he doesn’t manage it to pull it over the angel’s wings at first. He throws the shirt on the floor, taking a moment to admire the other man’s body, before Cas is ripping Dean’s shirt open, sending it to the floor with the other. The angel starts kissing him again, moving from his chin over to his neck and to his collarbone where he sucks and bites, marking Dean. Dean lets his head fall back against the door, biting at his lip to hold back a moan.  Castiel sinks down, leaving kisses at Dean’s chest and abdomen, dipping his tongue in his bellybutton. Then he kisses his hipbones and licks down the line of hair. Dean gasps and searching for something to hold on to, grips Castiel’s hair.

 “We should... bed,” he manages to say between little moans because Cas is nipping at one of his hipbones and he feels his arousal overwhelming him. Castiel nods and stands up and before Dean can react he lifts him up and carries him to the bed. He wraps his legs around Castiel’s waist and leans forward to kiss him before they fall on the bed in a mess of limbs and lips. With his legs still around Cas’ waist Dean turns them around so that he is sitting in the angel’s lap. Castiel smiles up at him, his glowing eyes brighter than normal. Dean lifts his hand, starting to draw patterns on Cas’ skin while he dips down and takes one of his nipples in his mouth. Castiel groans, a vibration through his whole body, and grips Dean’s hip tight. Dean swirls around the nipple with his tongue, and loves the way Cas arches up into the touch. He does the same with the other nipple before he bites on it tentatively. The noise Cas makes goes straight to his groin and he moves lower, leaving butterfly kisses on his way down. He stops at Castiel’s hipbones, licking from one to the other. Cas’ skin is hot and a bit salty and when he passes the hair which peeks out of the angel’s trousers, Cas’ fingers are in his hair, the fingernails digging into his scalp. He hooks his thumbs under the waistband looking up questioningly. Cas nods and Dean slowly pulls the trousers down. Castiel kicks them off and then he lies there, exposed and waiting only for Dean. Dean kisses his thighs down to his knees and works his way up until he is at Cas’ hipbones again, listening to the other man’s whimpers, full of need. He kisses back down until he noses Cas’ pubic hair before he leaves open mouthed kisses along his shaft. He puts his hands next to Castiel’s thighs and swirls his tongue around the head. Castiel groans again, his hands gripping tighter in Dean’s hair. Encouraged by that Dean opens his mouth and swallows Cas halfway, causing yet another groan from the angel, followed by a gasped “Dean”. Dean starts sucking, hollowing his cheeks out.  He looks up to meet the gaze of his angel who watching him in awe. Dean flicks his tongue out, caressing the underside of Cas’ cock. Cas shudders under him and Dean knows he is close. He doesn’t want it to be like this, so he lets go of Cas with a wet pop, crawling up to face him again. He kisses the angel, knowing that Cas can taste himself on his tongue.

“Cas,” he whispers with a hoarse voice. The angel looks at him, his eyes barely blue anymore. “Cas, I want you to take me.” He pauses briefly, “If that’s okay for you, of course.”

Castiel looks at him for a moment like he is the most precious thing in the whole world.

“Of course I want to,” he whispers back. “You don’t know how appreciated I feel, that you trust me that much.”

Instead of an answer Dean leans into a tender kiss before he pulls back and searches for Cas’ hand, sucking the angel’s fingers in his mouth.  Cas watches him, a groan escaping his mouth. When Dean thinks the fingers are slick enough he releases them, turning on his stomach and waits for Cas to go on. He feels Cas hovering above him, pulling his trousers down and Dean kicks them onto the floor. Suddenly he feels Cas lips on him, on his thighs, the back of his knees, his calves. He grips the sheets tight when Cas moves up again, leaving kisses on his cheeks before he pushes one finger inside. Dean tenses up but Cas waits until he relaxes before he starts moving the finger in and out. Quickly he adds a second finger and starts scissoring him open. The next time Cas moves his fingers out he crooks them, dragging them over his sweet spot. Dean moans and clutches the sheets tighter as the pleasure rolls over him. Suddenly, the fingers are gone and Dean whimpers at the loss, wants them back desperately.

 “Turn around, I want to see your face,” Cas whispers and Dean obeys immediately, meeting Cas’ gaze before he lines himself up and pushes carefully in. Deans body tenses and Cas leaves kisses at his neck and face until he manages to relax around the angel.

“You can move now,” Dean says and Cas starts rolling his hips against Dean’s.  He moves gently and carefully, one of his hands next to Dean’s ear the other is reaching for his hand. They interlace their fingers and Cas dips down to kiss Dean. He changes the angle and Dean moans when he hits his prostate. His free hand clutches Cas’ side and he bucks his hips up to meet the angel’s thrusts. Cas speeds up and moves one of his hands to Dean’s cock, stroking him to the rhythm of his thrusts. It’s almost too much to bear and Dean feels that he is close, shutting his eyes. He opens them a few moments later because Cas lips are on his chest, murmuring something in a foreign language he doesn’t understand. The only thing he can understand is one word Castiel repeats over and over. _Dean._ The realization of it sends him over the edge and his vision goes white as he comes. His senses come back just in time to see how Cas is hit by his orgasm, his eyes closed and his wings outstretched and Dean thinks that he has never seen his angel look so beautiful before. Cas collapses on Dean’s chest and after he pulled himself out carefully. Dean wraps his arms around the angel and kisses his sweaty hair.

 “I love you,” he murmurs. “Do you remember that I promised you that I was going to stay when everything was over?” Cas looks up to him, a weak smile at his lips. “When I wake up tomorrow I’ll write a message to Sam that I will stay here.”

Cas lifts his head and kisses him before he draws his thumb over Dean’s eyebrow sleepily.

“I love you more,” he whispers back before he tucks his head under Dean’s chin and closes his eyes.  Dean falls asleep quickly, thinking about their future together.


	7. Chapter 7

_Sam,_

_I’m sorry I didn’t write to you earlier but I have been quite busy. The angels managed to end the war and I’m still in one piece and well. I hope there hasn’t been too much trouble while you’ve been ruling the kingdom because it seems this is unlikely to change soon. I plan to stay here a while longer, maybe even for the rest of my life. I know that it’s irresponsible and all but believe me- this is where I belong and I’ve never been happier in my whole life. Besides you’ve always been the one most suited to being king. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier and I hope that we will see each other again. If father asks about me please tell him I’m dead._

_Dean_

Dean looks at the letter he’s written for Sam again, knowing that it won’t explain anything. Sam is going to be concerned and hurt but going back to his father’s kingdom is the last thing he wants to do.

He sighs and folds the paper before he gives it to the angel who is waiting patiently in front of him. He’s an envoy and Cas has told him that he can be there and back in less than four days. The angel gives Dean a slight nod before he flies away, leaving Dean alone on the balcony. Not quite alone because arms are wrapping around his body and Cas kisses the back of his neck.

“You don’t know how much that means to me,” he says in Dean’s ear. “That you’re willing to stay here although your family is probably waiting for you.” 

 “The only family I have is Sam and I will always love him,” Dean answers and leans into Castiel. “But I can’t live without you and I don’t want to leave you.”

Cas puts his chin on Dean’s shoulder. “I’m sure he will understand.”

“I hope so.” They stand in silence for a few minutes, watching the envoy disappearing. Finally Dean turns around and smiles.

“Hey.”

“Hello Dean,” Castiel answers and leans in for a kiss.  “Gabriel wants us to meet him in the main hall,” he says when they pull back.

Dean frowns. “Do you know what he wants?”

“No, he didn’t tell me, just sent a servant.” Cas sighs. “We’d better go before he sends another.” 

Dean nods and takes Cas’ hand in his own. With a last look at the sky where the envoy has disappeared into the distance, they leave the balcony.

When they enter the main hall Gabriel is already there, sitting on the table. Michael and his guard left that morning and Dean misses Aria a bit. Gabriel looks up and grins, his sharp teeth showing. “Finally,” he says and jumps down. “I was beginning to worry that I’d disturbed you two in the middle of something!”

“Why’d you want to see us again, has something happened?” Cas asks. “I hope it’s not another king wanting to visit.”

“No, fortunately not,” Gabriel answers. “It’s about the angelfire. I can’t allow another angel like Raphael access to all that power. It’s too dangerous for any single kingdom. So I’m going to find it and destroy it every spring or if it doesn’t work, I’ll close off the area. Michael is going to do the same in his kingdom.”

“Don’t you think that will draw attention to it?” Dean asks furrowing his brow.

“I hope not,” Gabriel answers. “We’ll operate in secret. Only Michael and I will know about it, as well as a few soldiers or guardsmen who are going with us. I want you two to come with us. You’re the only ones who have seen it twice and know a bit more about it than the rest of us.” He walks towards them until he’s standing in front of them. “As far as I know it’s going to be dangerous. All that energy in one place-I don’t know what is going to happen out there.” He looks at them intensely. “It’s possible that we’re all going to die, or that our power will increase or maybe be absorbed by the angelfire, I don’t know. You don’t have to come with us, I’ll understand it if you don’t want.” He grins again. “I mean, look at the two you, I’m sure that you want to spend all your time together and neither of you would like it if the other were to die and-”

“It’s alright Gabriel,” Cas interrupts. “We will accompany you if you need us.”

“If we can help, we’re going to do it.” Dean agrees.

Gabriel looks relieved. “Great!” he says, clapping his hands. “But if you change your mind, I’ll need you here to represent me.” When Castiel just looks at him annoyed, he shrugs and says: “Let’s get started then.”  Gabriel goes to the table and unrolls the maps that are lying on it.  “First we should narrow down the places where a spring of angelfire could exist.”.

They spend the following days planning and packing the stuff they will need. Gabriel is assuming that the springs are deep in the forest, so deep that no angel lives near. They had received a message from Balthazar saying that he’d found maps in Raphael’s rooms showing the forest but that they gave no indication of an angelfire spring. They’re going to fly, Dean in Cas’ arms and Dean is looking forward for it. He loves the feeling of Castiel’s arms around him and the certainty that he is safe, that he won’t fall.

It’s still dark when they meet in the courtyard to set off.  Gabriel is wearing light armor, which is a bit unfamiliar because Dean has never seen him before without his robe.  With him are four other angels, two of men Dean recognizes as guardsmen, the other two seem to be soldiers. None of them is carrying many weapons only scrolls of paper – Gabriel wants to document everything.

“Okay,” Gabriel starts. “We are going to fly 300 miles today until we’re deep enough into the forest.  From then on we are going to walk and try to find a spring. Any questions?” he scrutinizes each of them before he nods. “Good, let’s go.” 

They’re about to start, Castiel is already wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist, when one of the guardsmen says: “Wait, there is an envoy approaching. It might be important.”

Dean turns to see that the envoy landing and walking towards him. 

“My lord.” He nods and hands Dean a piece of paper. “Your brother said that it was urgent.”

With an uneasy feeling Dean opens the letter. He recognizes Sam’s handwriting, his hastily written scrawl.

_Dean,_

_You don’t know how much I wish that you could stay. I always wanted you to be happy and I hope you know that. If it wasn’t urgent I wouldn’t ask for your help, but you have to come home. Father died yesterday and you must be here to accept your inheritance and become the next king. I know that you don’t want to be king but until father’s counselors have seen your dead body, they’ll refuse to believe you’re dead and continue searching for you. Insisting you become king when they find you. Please come back as soon as possible, not only because of your duties but also for me. I need you here._

_Sam_

Dean is thunderstruck. This can’t be true. This can’t be happening. Not now. Not when he had started to be happy, to have a place where he is at home. But clearly Sam _needs_ him now and Dean can’t just stay away, not when he is the only family his brother has left. He barely notices when Castiel pulls the paper out of his hands gently and starts to read it.

“Dean,” Cas says, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I will come with you. Your brother needs to see you and you shouldn’t refuse him that.”

Dean looks at Castiel and smiles. “Thanks,” he whispers. “I don’t know how I would survive without you. I never wanted to be king and I hate the place but with you it would be bearable.”

Cas lifts his chin up and kisses him gently before Dean wraps his arms around the angel and breathes into his neck.

“Cas- Castiel,” Gabriel interrupts the silence, sounding unfamiliar.

“What is it?” Cas answers, pulling back from Dean.

“Is this about what I think it is? Are you are going to stay with Dean, in his kingdom, for the rest of your lives?” Gabriel says and Dean tries to figure out why the hell he sounds so strange.

“Yes, of course.” Castiel answers. “Do you have a problem with it?”

Gabriel seems to struggle with his words and Dean knows something is wrong, because the angel always knows what to say. Then, he realizes why his voice sounds so weird: it sounds sad.

“Cas, you don’t know how much I wish you could go and be with Dean.” Gabriel says, looking pained. “But you won’t survive long, the air there will begin to kill you slowly and after not more than maybe two months, you will be dead.”

“Wait, what?” Dean interrupts him. “Cas didn’t die the last time he was there, why should he die this time? And why should he die anyway?”

 “It’s the air.” Castiel says in a low voice. “I need it to survive and it’s only good enough here, deep in the forest and in the other kingdoms.” He pauses. “But Dean is right, Gabriel. I didn’t die last time, it could work.”

“How long did it take for your injuries to heal Cas? If you had been here it would have taken two, maybe three days,” Gabriel nearly shouts. “And I’m sure you felt terrible until you entered the forest.”

 Cas looks away and Dean knows that everything Gabriel is saying is true. He breathes in deeply.

“Okay.” He says, although he feels like he is being torn apart. “I’m sure I can visit you every month or so and-”

“Damn it, _no_ Dean!” Cas shouts, panic in his voice. “I will come with you, I don’t care if it kills me slowly or not. Not being with you will kill me anyway!”

Dean swallows hard, trying to hold back the tears which are pressing against his eyelids when he closes his eyes for a moment.

“I know and it will be the same for me.” He answers, his voice cracking. “But I won’t let you die because you’re with me. Do you know how I would feel?” he bites on his lower lip. “I couldn’t live with that, not at all.”

They are all quiet for a few moments until Gabriel says, “Besides, I would like you to help me, Cas.” His voice becomes gentle. “You’ve got an hour to say goodbye, but we’ll have to leave after that.”

Cas nods and takes Dean’s hand, pulling him towards the garden.  He clings desperately to Dean and thinks maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much if everything wasn’t such a blur.

Not until they’re standing in the garden, and Castiel clasps his arms around him, does Dean really realize what is happening. He is saying goodbye to Cas. He is saying goodbye, although he had only decided a few days ago that he wanted to stay with him forever. Their forever, it seems, is short but only because he is the older brother, because he is destined to be king. He’d thought that his place would be here, with Cas, but now he can see that it never was. His place is in his father’s castle, with only Sam and maybe Bobby by his side. But he knows he belongs there, even if there is a small voice in his head screaming at him not to care, to take Castiel and go away, somewhere, anywhere, where no one will find them.

 “Dean,” Castiel whispers, taking Dean’s face in his hands. “You don’t know how much I’m going to miss you.” He says before he pulls Dean’s face to his own, kissing him desperately.

“I’m afraid I do know,” he says with a hoarse voice, trying hard not to cry. He doesn’t want Castiel’s last image of him, to be him crying.  He looks at the ground, not able to look at Castiel’s face, his glowing blue eyes, his perfectly shaped mouth. Despite his struggle a tear finds its way out of his eye and rolls down his cheek. Suddenly there is a hand on his cheek, a thumb brushing over it, wiping the tear away.

“Dean, look at me.” Cas’ voice breaks and Dean looks up, meeting the angel’s gaze. Tears are streaming down his cheeks and he doesn’t do anything to stop them, looking at Dean and trying to smile.

Seeing his angel so vulnerable, so open to him, is causing Dean to dip his head down, kissing away every single tear before he says: “We’ll figure something out, I’m going to visit you and you’re going to visit me.” He draws his thumb over Castiel’s cheekbone. “It’s not like we won’t see each other again.” 

Cas nods and gives Dean another crooked smile. “Could you please fly with me once again?” he asks, his voice shaking slightly.  Instead of an answer Dean turns around and pulls Cas’ arms around his waist. Surprisingly Cas turns him around again. “I want to see you,” he says and Dean wraps his arms around him, holding on for dear life. Cas ascends slowly, his eyes locked on Dean’s, never letting go.  They’re hovering in the air, the beats of Castiel’s wings the only movement. Dean is held only by Cas arms, strong and steady. They’re in the air, just breathing in and out, the only light from the moon and Castiel’s eyes.  Dean leans his forehead against Cas’, closing his eyes.

 “This is how it should be,” he murmurs against Cas’ lips. “Only the two of us and no one else. Forever.”

Their next kiss isn’t desperate, but sad and loving, reluctant to let go.

“I love you,” Cas whispers. “Never forget that.”

“I won’t ever forget and I love you more than anything,” Dean says back. They stay there, in the air, breathing in the other’s scent and enjoying the other’s embrace. Dean doesn’t know how long it has been, only a minute or maybe hours but Cas is flying down again, landing in the garden. Neither of them is willing to let the other go, their arms around their bodies until Castiel breaks the silence.

 “I want you to have something,” he says, his hands leaving Dean’s back. He fiddles with the collar of his hauberk before he pulls something over his head, laying it in Dean’s hand. Dean can’t believe his eyes when he sees what it is. It’s Cas’ amulet, warm from the angel’s skin.

“Cas, I- I can’t accept this,” he stammers, searching for words. “It’s everything you are as an angel; this is the source of your power.”

“It’s not the source of my power,” Cas cuts him off gently. “It  just brings it all together. And I want you to have it, because _you_ are everything I am. Please take it Dean.”

Dean hesitates for a moment longer before he lowers his head and puts the amulet on. It’s heavier when he had expected and it’s warmer than his own skin but he feels safe with it around his neck.

“Thank you,” Dean says, clearing his throat. “I wish I had something similar to give it to you.”

Cas smiles. “You are everything I want, I don’t need more,” he whispers in Dean’s ear.

Dean blushes and looks at the ground before he gets an idea. He pulls off one of his rings, the one he received when he officially became an adult. He slips it on Castiel’s finger.

“I know it’s not much but now you have something to remind you on me,” he says, lifting Cas’ hand to his mouth and kissing the knuckles.

“Not much?” Cas chuckles slightly. “Dean you just gave me a ring. This means a lot.”

Dean wants to answer but he hears Gabriel shouting: “The hour is over!”

He swallows, trying not to think that he won’t see Cas for a long time.

“Goodbye Cas,” he whispers, pushing into the angel’s space for one last kiss. He puts everything into it, his fear, his pain, his love and he feels Cas responding with the same. Dean wraps his arms tighter around the angel, unwilling to let go. He feels how Cas folds his wings around him both and they stay in their own little world for a moment before they pull back and walk out of the garden.

When they enter the courtyard again there are two angels there who are going to escort Dean to the crossroads. They kiss one last time before one of the angels lifts Dean up and carries him down to where the horses are waiting for them.

Dean can’t remember the journey to the crossroads. Everything was blurred, the noises muffled. The angels were quiet the whole way and the only thing Dean thought about was Cas. The way he’d smiled at Dean whenever he had seen him. The way his hands had always been so gentle, so loving. The way he looked at Dean in awe when they lay together in bed, sweaty and exhausted from their love making. He vaguely remembers lying on the ground, the two angels sleeping a few meters away from him, and staring up at the dark sky trying to make out their constellation behind the clouds. The angels said goodbye to him at the crossroads and Dean rode on alone towards the edge of the forest. The only thing keeping him from breaking down is the feeling of the amulet around his neck which is still warm. It is calming and feels like Castiel himself touching him, giving him enough strength to carry on. 

Eventually the forest thins and a few minutes later Dean is out in the open. The sunlight is painful and strange after being so long in the shady light of the forest and it’s one more reason for Dean to want to turn and ride as fast as he can back to Cas. But he doesn’t, he keeps riding towards the castle which he can already see. In comparison with the angel’s castles it looks small with its single tower and Dean wonders how it will feel, not getting lost all the time.

It’s still early and he comes through the town unnoticed, glad of it. He isn’t really in the mood to talk to his people, trying to pretend that he is thankful to become king. Probably nobody would recognize him anyway-he’s still wearing Cas’ clothes which are dirty from sleeping in the forest and most of his subjects has ever seen him except at royal ceremonies. Dean lets out a bitter laugh when he thinks they could reckon him a hunter or maybe a vagabond who got himself a sword. And suddenly he is standing in front of the gates of the castle, panicking because this is the point of no return. He breathes in deeply and lifts his hand to knock, waiting for it to open.  He’d never thought that coming home would be this hard, but then he remembers that this isn’t home, never was and never would be again. Finally the gates open and Dean rides inside, nodding a greeting to the guards. As he descends from his horse, he hears someone calling his name and turns around. Sam is running towards him, waving like an idiot, a look of utter relief on his face.

 “Dean,” he shouts before pulling his brother into a tight hug. “I’m so glad that you came.”

Sam smells somehow like home, familiar and confident and Dean realizes how much he missed his little brother.

“Hey Sammy,” he answers, flinching at the sound of his own voice. It sounds broken and drained, like the voice of someone much older than him.

Sam’s relieved expression turns into something else, concern maybe. “Shit Dean,” he says, “I’m so sorry that I forced you into coming back. I wanted you to stay there and be happy but Gordon convinced father’s other advisors to bring you back.”

“It’s okay Sam,” Dean interrupts him. “Seriously, stop blaming yourself, it’s not your fault.” He tries to smile at Sam but is sure that it looks more like he’s got a knife to his stomach.  “Why don’t we go inside and you can tell me everything?”

“Sure.” Sam nods before they walk inside, Dean desperately trying not to think of Cas and what it means to be here again.

“You know that father was at Queen Ellen’s,” Sam starts when they have settled inside, sitting at a table, piled high with food.  “She told me that he’d gone hunting with some others in the mountains, although Ellen had asked him not to.” Deans starts eating an apple. “Apparently the vampires living there are quite aggressive and one of them injured father badly. He was sent home immediately but of course nobody could do anything for him and he died two weeks ago. I’ll show you his grave if you want.” Sam sighs and leans back on his chair. “Shortly after the funeral, the discussions started about who was going to be the new king. Sure, you are the heir and everything, but nobody knew where you were. Bobby wanted me to continue representing you, since I had been doing it for a while and slowly was getting used to it and all, but Gordon wanted it to be one of the advisors. Your letter ended the discussions and now you’re going to become the King of Winchester.” 

“Lucky me,” Dean says with sarcasm. He still doesn’t want this. “Can I refuse to take the crown?” he asks, hoping that Sam will nod and say yes.

 “I knew that you would ask that,” Sam says, looking at his hands. “And I’m sorry to tell you that you can’t.”

Dean lets out a shaky breath and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“But that doesn’t mean that you’ll have to be king for the rest of your life,” Sam continues and Dean looks up at him, eager to hear every possibility.  “You can abdicate, but only after six months.”

“Okay,” Dean says. He can deal with six months. It’s going to be terrible but he can make it, he can make it because after that he can be with Cas forever.

 “Okay?” Sam asks. “I know that you’re going to leave and there is nothing I can do  to stop you, but I don’t really understand why. Sure, you never wanted to be king but it’s not that bad, is it?”

Dean says nothing and looks at the ground which says more to Sam than if he had actually explained. 

“You want to go back, right?” Sam says with a low voice. “You wrote that you were happy there, but why were you happy? What is in the forest that can give you things you can’t get here? Look, Dean I _want_ you to be happy, and for my part you can go wherever you want as long as I receive a message from you every month or so that you aren’t dead, but I want to understand.”

Dean draws his hand through his hair. “I promise I’m going to tell you Sam,” he says, proud of himself that his voice isn’t quivering any more. “But at the moment I just can’t talk about it, okay?”

Sam hesitates for a moment before he sighs. “Alright, but don’t think I won’t keep you to that.”  

Dean manages a smile. “Thanks Sam,” he says. “When is the coronation?”

“Now that you’re here, maybe in two or three days, I guess.”

“That soon?” Dean asks, shocked.

“They’re becoming nervous,” Sam shrugs. “This kingdom has been without a real king for months and I guess the advisors want one in place again, as soon as possible.”

Dean groans and lets his head fall against the back of the chair. “Awesome, one hour back and I already have a bunch of appointments where I’ll have to smile and tell everyone how great it is to be me.”

Sam opens his mouth and wants to say something but Dean stops him with a gesture.  “I’m going to go to bed and try to sleep for a bit,” he says and stands up, hearing Sam’s _sleep well!_ before he heads out of the room and upstairs to his bed. He hasn’t been there for months and it feels strange lying in his own bed again. It’s cold and too big and Castiel’s absence hits Dean once again. He rolls himself into a ball, clenching the amulet in his hand. He knows that he has to sleep, especially after his journey. But every time he closes his eyes, he sees Cas in front of him and he realizes how much he misses the angel. But for once he doesn’t care, and lets the thought of Cas flood his senses until he falls asleep, the amulet still in his hand. 


	8. Chapter 8

The hall is crowded and Dean has problems breathing. The robe on his shoulders is too warm and the crown on his head is too heavy and it’s giving him a headache. It’s the day of his coronation and it seems that the whole population of the kingdom is in the hall, every single one of them celebrating. The corners of Dean’s mouth hurt from all the smiling and every minute there is another person congratulating him on being king. Dean doesn’t want the congratulations. He doesn’t want to be the king. He is sure he is going to fuck everything up because he is the last person who is suitable to rule a whole kingdom. Suddenly Bobby is standing next to him, holding a cup of wine in his hand.  
“You okay, boy?” he asks with concern. “I have never seen you like that before.”  
Dean manages one of his fake smiles again. “Yes, I’m fine,” he says. “It’s just a bit- um, you know overwhelming and all.”  
“Sure,” Bobby answers, standing a bit awkwardly next to Dean before he sighs and walks away.  
It is weird being surrounded by humans again. Their shoulders look bare without wings, their faces pale without the glowing eyes. Suddenly there’s another face in front of him, congratulating him and telling him that he is going to be a good king because he is a great person. When the person is gone, Dean recognizes him as Lord Campbell who never liked him much. He wishes Cas was there with him, holding his hand and kissing him on the cheek, telling him how great he is. Not because he is a king now but because he is Dean.  
Every person in this room is smiling and laughing and Dean starts to hate them. He hates them because they’re happy and pretending to like him. He hates his father for going on this stupid hunting trip and dying there. And he hates the vampire who killed him. But the person he hates most is himself, because he is such an asshole. He should be grateful to not be the son of a peasant but the son of a king. He has everything the people of his kingdom dream about, money, a home, sway. But instead of being grateful and learning to be a good king, he runs away from his duties and lets his little brother do everything. He’s probably the most pathetic king the kingdom ever has seen.  
Dean has the feeling that the walls are coming towards them and his breathing gets heavier. His vision starts to blur and he can hear his blood rushing in his ears. Dean knows that he has to get out of here, away from all the people in the room. He stumbles against the nearest wall, groping his way along it until he reaches a door. The noises of the crowd become quieter but everything is spinning and Dean sinks to his knees, his back leaning into a corner. He grips the amulet and tries to concentrate on Cas’ eyes but he can’t remember them anymore. Dean feels that the panic threatening to overwhelm him and he closes his eyes, trying to control his breath. Suddenly he feels a hand on his shoulder and Sam asks: “Dean? Are you alright? What happened?”  
Dean breathes in deeply, he can remember Cas’ eyes again. “Nothing, it’s fine,” he answers, trying to push himself up. “Let’s go back into the main hall, I’m sure our guests are wondering where we are.”  
Instead of letting him go Sam holds him into place. “Dean, you’re shaking. We’re not going back.”  
Dean looks down at his hands, surprised to see that they are trembling.  
“I know that you probably don’t want to talk about it but something is up, isn’t it?” Sam says. “I mean, you just panicked and ran out of the hall, there has to be something that is bothering you.”  
Dean doesn’t answer and Sam sighs, finally letting him go.  
“I’m going to my room,” Dean says. “If someone asks you where I am tell them anything.”  
When he is back in his own room, he lets his head fall against the wall and groans. This has to stop. Yes, he isn’t together with Cas anymore but it doesn’t mean that he will never see him again. They’re going to see each other and figure something out, once Cas comes back from his trip with Gabriel. There is nothing to worry about and he really should pull himself together, try to be a good monarch and brother. Dean slumps on his bed and tries to relax, brushing his thumb over the amulet. That’s when he realizes that he is still wearing the crown and he sits up again before throwing the crown across the room. “That’s for being so damn heavy,” he says to it before he falls back and closes his eyes. He should sleep, considering he’s started talking to things.

The next few months are filled with appointments and decisions and at some point Dean loses track of time. He still misses Cas and he has his bad days when he can barely get out of bed, clinging onto the amulet for dear life. But he (just about) manages not to let it rule his life. He has slept five nights in a row now without waking in the middle of the night with Castiel’s name on his lips, and his constant headache is beginning to get better. He has only one month left until he can abdicate and a part of him constantly wants to jump up and down in excitement, telling the world that he’s going to see Cas soon. And that’s exactly the thought that makes him fall asleep with a smile on his lips, when he goes to bed.  
“Damn it Cassie, why do you have make everything so complicated?” Gabriel whines when his little brother starts painting sigils on the wall of the cave. “It’s not as if a few lines and dots are going to deter the power from increasing.”  
“Yes they will.” Castiel answers. “Stop complaining, you’re going to be glad that I did them once we’re inside.”  
“Cassie nothing’s happened yet, come on.” Gabriel groans. “You overestimate the power of the angelfire, believe me.” He pulls out one of his sugar cubes and throws it in the air, catching it with his mouth. “Every time we enter one of these caves we barely find any angelfire. I think it only exists in small quantities. Nothing to worry about.”  
Castiel stops painting and turns around to face his brother. “Seriously Gabriel? Do you know how many caves have we been in? It’s been three and I doubt that every single cave is like them. I’m sure that there are springs which are much larger and I want to be safe when I go into these tunnels.” He looks at his hands, his thumb sweeping over the ring he is wearing. “I don’t want to die in here.”  
Gabriel sighs. “Yeah, maybe you’re right, I’m sorry. Are you done here, I want to go inside.”  
Castiel nods and they start walking into the darkness of the cave. They’ve left their companions at the entrance of the cave, with the order not to follow them. This hollow is bigger than the others they’ve been in and Castiel is unsettled because this time it feels different. It’s dark in the tunnel and although he is able to see in the dark, Castiel can barely see their surroundings. Slowly the air around them grows hotter and Castiel knows that they are close to the spring of angelfire, the energy of it is wavering around them. Eventually the tunnel bends and opens to a large room. Castiel looks up to see how high the ceiling is but he can’t see it.  
“Oh shit,” Gabriel whispers next to him. The room is lit with orange light from a sinkhole only a few meters in front of them. Castiel takes a few steps towards the edge, looking down. Only twenty feet below him is a lake of angelfire and in the center he can recognize the spring, constantly producing more.  
“I thought your sigils would help against this.” Gabriel says and points towards the spring. “This is not what I hoping for when you said it would stop the whole process.”  
“They’re not powerful enough to control this much energy,” Castiel answers. “We should go before the crater is filled.”  
“I’ll second that,” Gabriel says, turning around. In the same moment they hear a loud rumble and the earth starts to quake. “Not good, definitely not good,” Gabriel mumbles and looks up just in time to see the boulders falling.  
“Run!” he shouts to Castiel who is still studying the angelfire. He is on a jut at the edge, sitting on his heels. “Look at that, Gabriel.” He says, tilting his head.  
“Damn it Castiel we don’t have time for that!” Gabriel shouts again. “We’re going to die if we don’t run as fast as we can!” Finally Castiel turns around to Gabriel and stands up but at the same time one of the rocks hits the ground in front of the dark haired angel. There is a loud crack and before any of them realizes the rock beneath his feet falls away. Out of instinct Castiel moves his wings and tries to fly up again but he isn’t fast enough and Gabriel has to witness how his little brother falls down towards the orange glowing light.  
Dean wakes up with a scream on his lips. Cold sweat is covering his whole body and his breath is erratic and short. He reaches for his amulet, trying to calm down.  
It is cold.  
Dean’s whole body goes numb, blood rushing in his ears. He knows that the amulet has been warmer than his skin the whole time he’s been wearing it and now it’s freezing. A part of Dean thinks, hopes that it has nothing to do with his dream but it had been too intense, too realistic to be anything but a vision. He grabs the amulet again, its edges cutting into his skin. It’s going to become warm again, it has to. But it stays cold and doesn’t even warm up in Dean’s hands. He stays in his bed, sitting and with it in his hand waiting for something to happen. But there's nothing and the night goes on and Dean doesn’t move, his thoughts remaining unfocused and dazed. The image of Cas falling towards the fire is burned into his mind and he is so cold that his body is shaking. The sun starts to set and the amulet is still cold and suddenly Dean knows that Castiel is dead. There is no other explanation. The realization of it hits Dean hard and he closes his eyes completely overwhelmed by the pain. It can't be true, he thinks It can't be true that Cas, his angel, is dead. Not now, not when he has almost finished his time as king. The sun is shining into his room and the birds are tweeting and it's so wrong. Everything should be mourning Castiel's death, it should be raining, the whole world should be silent. And Dean’s body falls useless onto his bed again.  
Cas' smile when he said goodbye.  
He clutches the amulet even tighter than before and feels something warm running down his hand but he doesn't feel the pain.  
“I want you to have something.”  
Someone knocks at his door, shouting that it's time for him to get dressed.  
Cas' lips on his.  
He stands up, tumbling towards the door into the hallway. He can reach it with his eyes closed because he’s done it so many times. There are servants in the hallways but he can't find it in himself to care. Some of them are looking at him, concerned and one even asks if he is alright but he ignores them all. Finally he reaches the infirmary and pushes the door open. It is empty and something breaks in Dean. He remembers Cas lying there, with his wings extended over two beds, bruised and unconscious. And Cas, awake and eating pie with him, his eyes glowing blue. He sinks down with his back to the wall, staring at the empty bed in front of him.  
“My name is Castiel, maybe you would like to know that.”  
There is nothing for him that holds him here in the castle expect for Sam but there is also nothing for him in the forest anymore.  
Cas' eyes are blue and glowing, sometimes the only light in the darkness.  
There is nothing worth living for anymore. Dean wasn't happy before Castiel came into his life but now that he is completely gone he feels empty and broken, barely able to breathe. He doesn't know how long he stays sitting on the floor, his sense of time lost to him. It's getting dark and he is surprised that it's got so late. He stands up, his legs shaking from sitting for so long and he nearly falls back to the floor. He hasn't eaten anything for more than a day, but he doesn't care.  
Nobody is in the hallway when Dean leaves the infirmary and Dean is relieved, glad that he doesn't have to face anyone. The way is a confused picture of hallways and stairs and Dean is kind of surprised when he finds himself at the top of the castle’s tower. It seems that the weather has changed during the day. It's raining and the wind whips into Dean's face. The last time he had witnessed weather like this he had been in Cas' arms, carried through the air. Dean remembers every time he ever flew with Cas.  
The feeling of absolute freedom and facility.  
Strong arms around his body.  
The noise of Castiel's wings beating through the air.  
The feel of being totally safe.  
The heat of another body above him.  
Without thinking Dean steps towards the battlements, his hand around the amulet.  
Cas laughing when he dived down.  
His breath on Dean’s neck.  
The moment Dean had spread his arms and felt freer than he ever had in his life.  
Dean spreads his arms out like that, the wind blowing around his body.  
The feel of Cas' muscles moving.  
His lips on Dean's neck, kissing him.  
The way his eyes glinted whenever he spoke of flying.  
Flying with Cas has been freedom, easy and so special to Cas that Dean wants nothing more than to fly again, one more time. When he closes his eyes it feels like he’s flying with Cas. It doesn't matter anyways, not anymore. He takes a deep breath, the rain beating in his face. It would be so easy just to take one step forward and fly.  
“Do you trust me, Dean?” He hears Cas’ voice in his head.  
“Yes,” he whispers and takes the last step towards the edge. And suddenly there are arms around him and he is falling, air rushing around him and it’s almost like Castiel is there. He can nearly hear the beat of his wings and feel Cas’ breath on his skin. He is free.  
But it’s over too soon and his back hits the stones, hard. He can still feel everything and he realizes that he is still there, alive although he knows he shouldn’t be. Dean opens his eyes. It’s still raining but he can see a small patch of sky through the clouds. And there, between the clouds he can see their constellation. It shines as bright as ever, the only light in a clouded sky. And all of a sudden a face comes into view. Dean blinks a few times, until he recognizes the brown hair and the green eyes. Sam is hunched over him, his mouth opening and closing, words leaving his mouth that Dean can’t hear. He wants to see the constellation again, but it isn’t there, the clouds have covered it once more.  
Sam sits him up somehow, pulling him into a hug and Dean lets everything go. Tears burning in his eyes and for the first time since he left the forest he is crying. The tears are streaming down his cheeks and finally he hears Sam’s voice.  
“Shhh, everything will be okay,” his brother says and suddenly there are so many words Dean wants to say, spilling over and he starts to tell him everything. What happened in the forest and how he fell in love with Cas, only to be separated from him. And Sam listens, whilst his gentle strokes soothe Dean's back.  
When he is finished, Dean feels silly because he has told Sam everything, bared his soul to him. Sam somehow manages to take him back in his room, locking the door and barricading the windows with the promise to let him out in the morning. It's obvious that Sam is afraid that Dean is going to try jumping again and Dean can't blame him. He still doesn't want to be there, doesn't want to live without Cas but now he thinks that it was definitely an overreaction to jump from the tower.  
During the next few weeks Dean barely leaves his room. Sam rules the kingdom on his own, although Dean is still the official king. The only time Dean goes outside is to go to the tower to see the constellation, flanked by two guardsmen because Sam doesn't trust him to go alone. Whenever Dean is standing there, his hand around the amulet, a part of him hopes that Castiel isn’t dead, that he will come back some day. But it's been more than seven months since they parted and he hasn't heard anything from the angel. He hopes that he'll get at least a message, no matter if it confirms Cas' death, because this lack of knowledge is terrible. The angels knew that he would care about Castiel's death, why would they not inform him about it? But he hears nothing from them and the only message they receive is from Queen Ellen, saying that she'd like her daughter to visit them in a few months.  
Eventually Dean gets better. After a few weeks he starts eating in the main hall again, although he doesn't meet the eyes of anyone. He also starts going outside in daylight, standing on the wall behind the battlements. He stares towards the forest, thinking of the things he could've done there, the life he could've lived. He misses Castiel, misses the way the angel looked at him, the feeling of being loved. He is thinking about abdicating, not because he has something better to do, but because he doesn’t feel able to rule a kingdom. He wasn’t made for that much responsibility and in his current state of mind it’s nearly impossible for him to get up and actually do anything.  
Today is one of the days when Dean is standing on the wall, watching the forest. It's like the time months ago, when he stood in the same place, waiting for Sam to come back from his hunting trip. It was the day he had met Cas and Dean nearly smiles at the memory. He had been watching the small dots in the distance becoming bigger and bigger, until he had recognized Sam and his father's banner. But this time there aren’t any dots approaching, only the town and fields beyond, the muted noises of the people living there. Dean closes his eyes for a moment, trying to dissipate the vision that there is something in the sky, flying towards him. He dreams things like that a lot, no matter how often he tries to persuade himself that it won't happen. He opens his eyes again, only to see that there is something, halfway between the forest and the castle. He is looking into the sun and can’t see much, but the thing is big and has huge wings.  
Dean feels his heart sinking. It is going to be the envoy who will tell him that Castiel is dead. He stumbles back until his back hits the railing behind him. It still hurts more than he thought it would, the fact that Castiel's dead will be definite when he hears it from another angel. He reaches out to grab the amulet, flinching when his skin touches the metal. The amulet isn't cold anymore but burns hot. He looks back up to the sky and sees that the angel is only a few meters away from him, the sunlight still hiding every detail. And suddenly there are arms around him and he feels the ceiling break underneath him from the added weight and he is falling. But it doesn't matter because someone catches him, holding him tight and lands them safely on the ground. Dean looks down, finally able to see the face of the new arrival. The first thing he sees are blue eyes, glowing brightly and intense. And then the person says one word:  
“Dean.”  
There are lips on his and suddenly Dean realizes that Cas is back, that he is not dead but here with him. They pull back only to kiss again and Dean melts into Cas, his hands roaming over Cas’ body because he wants to touch it all, feel every single part of the angel. Eventually they stop kissing and Dean leans his forehead against Cas’, his nose nudging the other man's cheekbone.  
“I thought you were dead,” he says with a hoarse voice. “I had this dream that you fell into angelfire in some cave and the amulet went cold and-” Castiel kisses him again, one of his hands in Dean's hair.  
“I'm sorry,” he whispers, drawing his thumb over Dean's neck. “When I fell down into the malpirgi I thought I would die and all my thoughts were directed at you. I didn’t know you would dream of that. But the only thing that happened was that my whole power was absorbed and I could only leave the crater without getting harmed with Gabriel's help.” He wraps his wings around Dean and pulls him closer to his body. “It took me a long time to become healthy enough to fly again but I'm here now.”  
Dean buries his nose in the crook of Castiel’s neck, breathing in his scent.  
“Damn it Cas,” he says. “I didn’t know how to live without you. Never do anything like that again, like ever, you hear me?”  
“I’ll try,” Castiel answers.  
“How long can you stay?” Dean asks, putting a bit of space between them.  
Cas looks down. “I’m afraid I can’t stay long because my powers are still not fully regenerated.”  
Dean feels his heart sinking in his chest but Castiel continues.  
“But I’d like you to come with me, if it doesn’t get in the way with your duties as the king.” He looks in Dean’s eyes again. “We need someone without angelic powers who can enter the caves to explore the angelfire. And- ” he smiles nervously, “I want to be with you again, if you still want me.”  
“Why wouldn’t I want you anymore?” Dean asks confused.  
“Because perhaps you’ve realized that it’s better to spend your time with other humans instead of coming back with me,” Castiel answers, his voice low. “I’m asking you to leave your family and friends and I can understand if you don’t want to. Besides you are the king here and I’m sure you can’t just leave and-”  
“Cas, stop!” Dean interrupts him. “You don’t get it, do you? I want to be with you, not with the people here, aside from Sam, maybe. I don’t want to be king, I want to spend the rest of my time in the forest, with you. Do you really think a few months would change that?”  
He kisses Cas gently on the mouth. “I love you, Castiel and nothing can change that.”  
Cas smiles. “I love you too, Dean. How long will it take before we can set out?”


	9. Epilogue

The heat is flowing around Dean. It’s always hot in the caves, but not always as hot as this. Dean wipes the sweat from his forehead and narrows his eyes, trying to see in the bright orange light. He knows that he is near, feels it in the prickling of his skin. He takes a few steps forward, his feet searching for a steady hold on the stony ground. This is the third cave he’s been in today and it’s going to be the last one for a long time. The last year has been spent searching out and investigating caves, sometimes to leave without achieving anything because there’s nothing inside to find.  
Suddenly Dean’s foot touches something and he looks down, to see a rock bigger than the others around. There is a hole in it and Dean knows that he has finally reached his goal: the last spring of angelfire. He takes the knife that Gabriel had given him, from his belt and he starts to carve the familiar enochian sigils around the hole. His hands are practiced and certain and he only pauses to wipe away the sweat again. The enochian spell still feels strange on his tongue but it doesn’t fail to have the desired effect.  
With a sound like a storm the orange light starts to stream towards the hole, raging through the room and around Dean. The amulet around his neck becomes hot, so hot that it’s nearly unbearable. The angelfire halts for a moment and for a fearful moment Dean thinks it hasn’t worked, that the spell wasn’t strong enough, like the time two weeks ago, but then there is a sucking noise and it all disappears into the hole. The amulet cools until it’s at its normal temperature again and everything goes quiet.  
Dean huffs out a relieved breath, glad that everything has gone as it should. A net of wispy blue light is closing the hole, the orange light pushing against it every once in a while. He takes the knife from the floor and turns around, eager to leave the cavern and breathe fresh air.  
Now that they have finished the closing of the springs, he finally has time for other things. Answering Sam’s latest letter for example. His little brother is fine, ruling the kingdom better than most of his ancestors. Dean has no clue how he manages it, but Sam is going to marry Jess in a few weeks and apparently there is already another heir to the throne on its way. They want Dean to come and bring Cas to the Wedding and Dean is already looking forward seeing Cas surrounded by humans, trying not to bump into anybody with his wings.  
The kingdom that used to be Raphael’s is now ruled by a few angels around Balthazar, who had been a huge help in finding the tight spell to suppress the angelfire. They had discovered a hidden library in the castle, full of ancient books and there are still angels working on the translations of the Enochian scripts.  
There are also other things to face and Dean groans when he thinks of them. He doesn’t know how, but Gabriel had found out that Cas had asked Dean to marry him and instead of not telling anyone like he promised, he got together with Aria and started to plan a really huge celebration. Dean has a bad feeling that practically every angel is going to come and since it’s Gabriel organizing it, he is bound to have something very embarrassing planned.  
But when he steps out of the tunnel, sunlight hitting his face, Dean knows why all of this is worth it. Cas is standing there, his wings extended and his eyes glowing. He looks beautiful in the sunshine and when he sees Dean a smile lights up his face.  
“Did it work?” he asks. Castiel used to come into the caves with him, but after Dean noticed that the angel became exhausted every time, he asked Cas not to enter the caves, but wait for him outside.  
“Like always,” Dean answers, kissing the man in front of him.  
“Good,” Castiel says relieved. “Since this is the last one we know about, we’ll have time for all the other things we want to do.”  
“Do you think we can convince Gabriel that it’s not necessary to have this exaggerated, huge celebration, now that we’ve done such an awesome job again?”  
Castiel laughs, his head thrown back and his sharp teeth showing.  
“I’m afraid we can’t,” he says, still smiling. “But it’s not that bad, is it?”  
“No,” Dean answers. “It’s still me marrying you and that’s the only thing that counts.” He takes Cas’ hand and kisses the finger where his ring still sits. He looks back at Cas again. “Wanna go home?” he asks, intertwining his fingers with Cas’.  
The angel nods and seconds later they are in the air, Cas arms around Dean’s body. Dean watches the forest beneath them, a pattern of different shades of green. He chuckles a bit when he remembers that he used to think the forest was a dangerous, dark place, nothing in it except for monsters and demons. Now he knows that that is only one side of the forest. The other side includes the clearings, the homes of fairies, the impressive buildings of the angels. And Cas, the man he loves . despite him being not human, and the man who loves him although he isn’t an angel. He had never thought that the forest would ever become his home but now he understands. Home doesn’t depend on where he is, but having the people he loves with him.  
When the castle finally appears on the horizon, Dean is smiling widely. He has an amazing future husband, a brother who is going to be a father and he doesn’t have to be a king. He’s going to live in peace with an angel at his side, sometimes visiting his brother but above all: Being free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to:  
> • Hannah, because you were the first person to read this story although you could have done so many other things. Thanks for your advice, your cheerleading and that you listened to me talking to myself about my writing.  
> • Isa, because you always asked “How’s your story?” and forced me into writing.  
> • Michelle, the hugging with the wings is for you. Thank you for being there at the very beginning and I’m sorry there is no dragon.  
> • My lovely and wonderful last-minute beta reader Jonjo, I couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you so much for your hard work during the last days.  
> • And last but not least my perfect and talented artist Joanna, for giving this story a face with your wonderful art. It has been really great to work with you uwu


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